This is not advice from my mentor...but still good advice...
Enough Said!
Friday, October 23, 2009
Monday, October 19, 2009
It's How you Handle it...
We were asked to spend 2 weeks at one of the factories of the company that we worked for...
What a cool opportunity! One of the reasons was that it left every evening open for discussion...which is something that we never did! Also...
Being out in the "middle of nowhere" did not tempt either one of us to deviate from the evenings together...we were the only entertainment available!
I did have one thing that I wanted to do...that I knew he would not take part in...he didn't like extreme physical activity...or non-value activities (those for personal edification only)...
I had set a personal go to stand on the highest natural point in every state in the US! It was kind of a stupid goal...but for some strange reason I wanted to do that! I had not been to the highest point in this state...so I figured that I would take Saturday and do that...leaving Sunday open for the two of us...
When I told him about my plans...he invited himself along and told me that he'd sit in the rental car and wait for me...while I fulfilled that hunger...
"I would rather sit in the car and wait...than sit in the room and worry!" WORRY!?! I guess that was his excuse for riding along!
He knew that I was a decent climber and had made harder climbs, like in Montana, Washington or Alaska. I had all of my equipment shipped to the factory and checked it out...I even bought a few extra items to make the climb even easier....just in case...and it was cool to get all of the cool gear too!
I always, I grabbed a map and picked the easiest route! We could drive within a few thousand feet from the top...and most of the trek would be on paths...A no brainer! My goal was to be simply at the highest point...not to make the climb difficult too! I was no fool!
As anticipated, I made the climb...in fact...I never used any of the equipment and walked the entire way...in fact, I ditched most of it on the way up and gathered it back up on the way down!
When I returned to the car...I noticed that he wasn't sitting in it...in fact...he was nowhere to be seen!
For a moment my heart jumped...and I called out his name...and he immediately responded...WHEW! I could see the headlines now..."OLD GUY LOST WHILE WAITING FOR A HIKER!" BUT...
He came shuffling out of some scrub brush, holding something that sent primal shivers up my spine! A HUGE rattlesnake!
"Look what I found!" he said as he held it out to me!
"I hate snakes" I replied..."ESPECIALLY poisonous ones!"
"Take it" he asked, "I have been holding this thing to show you for more than an hour and I am getting tired!"
"NO WAY!" I refused, "It is poisonous! You are just asking for trouble!"
"A snake is a snake...it is all in how you handle it!" he replied...and he began to give me lessons in snake handling...
I took a few quick lessons...and pocketed another primal urge...the one to take this species one snake closer to the categorization of endangered!
No sooner than I had a good grip on the snake...he reached into his pocket and lit up a cigarette!
"I was beginning to hate this snake..." he commented, "Holding a poisonous snake is a great way to cut down on smoking though!"
I knew that this snake was about to become an object lesson for me...
How? I had no idea...but he wouldn't go through that much trouble just to show me a snake!
He would not have put so much effort into one of these creatures for any other reason!
I...on the other hand enjoy things of nature...I have had some extreme pets...and grew up with nature...but nothing deadly! This was a new experience for me! In a way...it was kind of exciting!
"I have a feeling that I have some lesson to learn from this thing...RIGHT?" I asked...
"Yes you do!" he replied...
"It hit me when I was walking around and heard its warning...the rattle! In fact if you walk off the path...you'll be surrounded by rattles! It is an eerie sound!" There are hundreds of those snakes just off the path!"
I shuttered at that thought!
"So I caught one of the smaller ones for you!" he continued...
I shuttered at that thought too...because the snake that I held was just under 5 feet long!
As I held it...I couldn't help but marvel it the beautiful markings and the tail itself (a thing to behold)! (It was a Diamondback Rattler) The snake's eyes were beautiful...it actually was quite a wonder...Its mouth would open and threaten me with a bite...that was definitely not a jaded threat...I could see the curved fangs protruding from its fleshy foundations...
"Would you be insulted if I let it go back to its family?" I asked, "Unless your lesson is about how to cook a snake...I am really tired of holding this thing"
"He smiled and CAREFULLY took it from me and walked back into the brush...
In a few minutes he returned triumphant...with a funny look on his face...he was about 10 feet from me and without warning...he fell flat on his face!
My heart jumped! I had no idea how long snake venom took to kill its victum!
His fall was unexpected and quick...before he hit the ground...my mind jumped to snake bite emergency procedures and how I was going to handle the 4 hour trip to the hospital...and how I would notify the company he died mentoring me...and on and on...how could I explain that it was an object lesson!
But as soon as he hit the ground...he let out a few choice explatives in two or three languages...and cursed the loose rock that he stepped on...taking his already fragile footing out from underneath him! Then he broke out in a major belly laugh! He rolled on the ground...and I tried to pick him up!
"I thought..." I began...and he broke in!
"It was funny...I was thinking about what would happen...if I had gotten bitten...as I was coming back...and then as I fell...I actually thought you would think...that I got bit"
"Did I scare you?" he chuckled
"Was this part of the lesson?" I asked
"NO! Look at my pants! No object lesson is worth these tears and abrasions!" He uttered, "How many more of these climbs do you have to do?"
"I ignored that question and admonished, "Let's not do anything that stupid again!"
He looked at me and repeated, "How many more of these climbs do you have to do?"
"3" was my reply...
"I'll stop the snake thing...if you get those 3 climbs over with and commit to "sea-level!" "Deal?"
"DEAL!" I confirmed
There would be other object lessons in my future...but none as daring as snake handling...and I can tell you that I was relieved at that promise!
We opened the trunk of the rental car and took out a "drive-through" lunch. The shade from the lid actually was not needed. In the sun, it was warm and friendly...in the shadow it was cold...so we closed it and sat on the car!
As we ate and soaked up the sun in the "thin air" we talked...about the view...and our experiences over the past week...and I mended his wounds with my first-aid kit that I carried for "emergenices just like that! Boy Scouts taught me to "Be prepared!"
Then he changed the subject and focused it on what he was previously thinking...
"Let's go back to the snake and what thoughts it brought to mind!"
Our world is like snake handling! Every situation and every person that we encounter is like that rattler...
Which ones do you think you have to be the most scared of?
My reply was almost immediate..."THE BIG ONES!"
"Just the opposite!" he scowled.
"The little ones have venom that is much more concentrated...the big one have more venom!" "But, that is not what we are to learn!"
"EVERY situation and every person has the potential of being a snake...and EVERY situation and every person has the potential of being lethal..." "how you fare...is not in how they react to you...but in how you handle them!"
"That snake that we had...would have loved to bite you! By the time you held it...it had enough of being handled and it wanted to get away! When I first caught it...it was nasty...then it calmed down...then when I handed it off to you...it got really nasty again!"
I thanked him for that wonderful opportunity...and he laughed...
"There is nothing worse than a second-hand snake!"
"Most of the situations and people that we encounter are secondhand...they have been handled poorly...and then given to you to control!"
"Usually by the time you get them...all they want is to bite you and get back to their security!"
"If you know how to handle the situation...you can survive...but it calls for absolute adherence to whatever discipline is required...if you relax...it will bite you...you have to be on your toes...ready to react and adjust...you have to be more aware...more on edge..."
"You didn't have to worry about that!" I noted...and he smiled...a knowing smile!
"My point!" When you are aware of danger...you go into the proper mode..."
"Most people make the mistake of relaxing and that is when they get bitten..."
"Lethal situations are decieving!" "They are small and concentrated..."
"Sharks attack from out of the depths...cougars lunge from the bushes...snakes strike from crevasses...lightening from out of the blue..." "That is life"
"Situations and people will lull you into believing that you are safe...and then the lethal strike comes!"
"Those who spend the most time lulling you...are the ones you most have to distrust!"
"You have heard the old saying...where there is smoke...there is fire?""
"If someone is blowing smoke up your (backside) then at sometime...that same person will burn your (backside)!
(He has such a wonderful cynical side)
"Life is an interesting beast...and your survival all depends on how you handle it..."
"Handling life is not one of those "with care" things" You have to handle it appropriately! Sometimes strong and firm and other times...gently!"
"Do you want to go back in the brush and see how many snakes are sunning themselves?" "It is amazing!"
I turned down the offer...and he laughed!
"Don't push your luck...I like that!"
"At any moment...if you are unprepared...it is going to bite you!"
"Where is your next climb?"
"Mt Elbert, in Colorado...next weekend on my way home" I replied..."Its an easy one!"
"Be careful...it could be a 1 foot rattler if you are not cautious" he admonished...
The next weekend I fell a tethered fall...almost 100 feet...when a run of pitons pulled out!
Over the course of my career...it was when I was lulled...that I was bitten...
Be on guard...it is the rattle that you do not hear...and the information that you are not given...that clouds your perception of safety...
"Yes you do!" he replied...
"It hit me when I was walking around and heard its warning...the rattle! In fact if you walk off the path...you'll be surrounded by rattles! It is an eerie sound!" There are hundreds of those snakes just off the path!"
I shuttered at that thought!
"So I caught one of the smaller ones for you!" he continued...
I shuttered at that thought too...because the snake that I held was just under 5 feet long!
As I held it...I couldn't help but marvel it the beautiful markings and the tail itself (a thing to behold)! (It was a Diamondback Rattler) The snake's eyes were beautiful...it actually was quite a wonder...Its mouth would open and threaten me with a bite...that was definitely not a jaded threat...I could see the curved fangs protruding from its fleshy foundations...
"Would you be insulted if I let it go back to its family?" I asked, "Unless your lesson is about how to cook a snake...I am really tired of holding this thing"
"He smiled and CAREFULLY took it from me and walked back into the brush...
In a few minutes he returned triumphant...with a funny look on his face...he was about 10 feet from me and without warning...he fell flat on his face!
My heart jumped! I had no idea how long snake venom took to kill its victum!
His fall was unexpected and quick...before he hit the ground...my mind jumped to snake bite emergency procedures and how I was going to handle the 4 hour trip to the hospital...and how I would notify the company he died mentoring me...and on and on...how could I explain that it was an object lesson!
But as soon as he hit the ground...he let out a few choice explatives in two or three languages...and cursed the loose rock that he stepped on...taking his already fragile footing out from underneath him! Then he broke out in a major belly laugh! He rolled on the ground...and I tried to pick him up!
"I thought..." I began...and he broke in!
"It was funny...I was thinking about what would happen...if I had gotten bitten...as I was coming back...and then as I fell...I actually thought you would think...that I got bit"
"Did I scare you?" he chuckled
"Was this part of the lesson?" I asked
"NO! Look at my pants! No object lesson is worth these tears and abrasions!" He uttered, "How many more of these climbs do you have to do?"
"I ignored that question and admonished, "Let's not do anything that stupid again!"
He looked at me and repeated, "How many more of these climbs do you have to do?"
"3" was my reply...
"I'll stop the snake thing...if you get those 3 climbs over with and commit to "sea-level!" "Deal?"
"DEAL!" I confirmed
There would be other object lessons in my future...but none as daring as snake handling...and I can tell you that I was relieved at that promise!
We opened the trunk of the rental car and took out a "drive-through" lunch. The shade from the lid actually was not needed. In the sun, it was warm and friendly...in the shadow it was cold...so we closed it and sat on the car!
As we ate and soaked up the sun in the "thin air" we talked...about the view...and our experiences over the past week...and I mended his wounds with my first-aid kit that I carried for "emergenices just like that! Boy Scouts taught me to "Be prepared!"
Then he changed the subject and focused it on what he was previously thinking...
"Let's go back to the snake and what thoughts it brought to mind!"
Our world is like snake handling! Every situation and every person that we encounter is like that rattler...
Which ones do you think you have to be the most scared of?
My reply was almost immediate..."THE BIG ONES!"
"Just the opposite!" he scowled.
"The little ones have venom that is much more concentrated...the big one have more venom!" "But, that is not what we are to learn!"
"EVERY situation and every person has the potential of being a snake...and EVERY situation and every person has the potential of being lethal..." "how you fare...is not in how they react to you...but in how you handle them!"
"That snake that we had...would have loved to bite you! By the time you held it...it had enough of being handled and it wanted to get away! When I first caught it...it was nasty...then it calmed down...then when I handed it off to you...it got really nasty again!"
I thanked him for that wonderful opportunity...and he laughed...
"There is nothing worse than a second-hand snake!"
"Most of the situations and people that we encounter are secondhand...they have been handled poorly...and then given to you to control!"
"Usually by the time you get them...all they want is to bite you and get back to their security!"
"If you know how to handle the situation...you can survive...but it calls for absolute adherence to whatever discipline is required...if you relax...it will bite you...you have to be on your toes...ready to react and adjust...you have to be more aware...more on edge..."
"You didn't have to worry about that!" I noted...and he smiled...a knowing smile!
"My point!" When you are aware of danger...you go into the proper mode..."
"Most people make the mistake of relaxing and that is when they get bitten..."
"Lethal situations are decieving!" "They are small and concentrated..."
"Sharks attack from out of the depths...cougars lunge from the bushes...snakes strike from crevasses...lightening from out of the blue..." "That is life"
"Situations and people will lull you into believing that you are safe...and then the lethal strike comes!"
"Those who spend the most time lulling you...are the ones you most have to distrust!"
"You have heard the old saying...where there is smoke...there is fire?""
"If someone is blowing smoke up your (backside) then at sometime...that same person will burn your (backside)!
(He has such a wonderful cynical side)
"Life is an interesting beast...and your survival all depends on how you handle it..."
"Handling life is not one of those "with care" things" You have to handle it appropriately! Sometimes strong and firm and other times...gently!"
"Do you want to go back in the brush and see how many snakes are sunning themselves?" "It is amazing!"
I turned down the offer...and he laughed!
"Don't push your luck...I like that!"
"At any moment...if you are unprepared...it is going to bite you!"
"Where is your next climb?"
"Mt Elbert, in Colorado...next weekend on my way home" I replied..."Its an easy one!"
"Be careful...it could be a 1 foot rattler if you are not cautious" he admonished...
The next weekend I fell a tethered fall...almost 100 feet...when a run of pitons pulled out!
Over the course of my career...it was when I was lulled...that I was bitten...
Be on guard...it is the rattle that you do not hear...and the information that you are not given...that clouds your perception of safety...
Sunday, October 4, 2009
A Man on a Mission...
I had just finished mowing...which was always a challenge in my yard...not because it was a difficult yard to mow...but because the mower always provided a mechanical challenge! Sometimes the starting rope broke...or the "carb" stuck...or a wheel fell off or...
I could mow the yard, in less than an hour, if everything went well...but it usually took 2 to 3 hours...to fix the mower and keep it running long enough to finish. I always breathed a triumphant sigh when I was done!
I never rued the lawn mowing task...even though I threatened the machine EVERY WEEKEND with replacement. It ignored my threats, because I think it knew that I liked the challenges that it provided to me! In between it use...it thought up new challenges for me...which I always creatively overcame!
Enough of that for now...
I was standing and surveying my accomplishment and smelling the fast fading aromas of the freshly cut greenery, when his car pulled into my driveway and jerked to a stop. He crawled from the sagging seat and walked up to me, with a HUGE weekend smile!
"The lawn looks great...as always!" he noted, "When are you going to replace that mower of yours?" "It will give us a lot more time to do the things we love...if you did!"
"When are you going to replace that car?" I responded...
"I'll replace that car...when the cost of using it is more than the value I get...what about you?" He replied..."I didn't drive over here to argue about our machines...do you want to go fishing?"
A passion for "fishing" was one of the things we had in common. Although he grew up dragging or casting nets in the sea, and I learned to fish on inland freshwater lakes...our fishing paths converged and we shared this sport as often as time allowed...we enjoyed the challenge and eating a meager amount of our catch each time we went out...and we enjoyed our talks too!
It gave him time to mentor me and I him...the mentoring sessions had evolved into that...it was no longer uni-directional...but we found that we both had things we could share with each other...he knew that long before I did...
"I should have known that you wanted to go fishing." I smiled. "You always wear those shoes when you want to fish!"
"I always wear these shoes on the weekend!" he scolded, "They are my weekend shoes!"
"GOTCHA!" I said. He looked at me as if I didn't make any sense...and perhaps I didn't...so I explained..."Therefore...every weekend, you want to fish!"
In a way that was true!
We fished at every opportunity.
Sometimes after work...we'd meet at a favorite place and build a fire and listen to "a ballgame" on his scratchy battery powered A.M. radio, until the "Star Spangled Banner" played and the announcer bid us "a good night and a good morning..."
We caught a ton of fish together, but never kept the fish at either end of "the bell curve." If you want a healthy population, don't take the small ones or the big ones. There are too few of them. Take only the ones in the middle of the curve...they are the most common.
So, when we fished, we would catch a few fish and figure out what an average fish was...then return any fish that was not within a certain range of our calculated average! It was a fun way to keep us sharp on statistics!
We ate well! Many times right there on the shore! Today...I was craving fish...so I hoped that our little excursion would pay off! I really had no doubt that it would...he always did his homework and knew where the fish were biting...and exactly what bait to use...he had high-level friends at the bait shops and they told him everything!
If we went fishing, I knew I had to put up with his stories about casting nets...and Mediterranean storms and how it was sometimes the only thing they had to eat! But that was a small price to pay for his friendship!
I would return the favor by repeating the few great stories I had...and he obliged me too!
It was a tradition...and an essential part of a good fishing excursion...
I looked at him and could see in his eyes that he was craving fish too! He was on a "fish'in mission..."
He had the clearest eyes of anyone that I knew! When one says that the eyes are the mirrors of the soul...his were windows...
Although they were sometimes bloodshot from late night fishing or too much rum...they always looked the same! They had intent...but not piercing intent...they were eyes set on his real mission...they told his entire story...
When he looked at you, they conveyed a feeling similar to the looks you see, in the eyes of people at an animal shelter. It was a blend of sympathy and a desire. A drive to adopt you and save you from your plight...but there was a sadness in them. That sadness came, when you combined the previous feelings with a realization that he had...that there is nothing that he can really do...
That look NEVER changed...ever! He had his mission and he held to it...
Although I was wringing wet, from almost an hour of trying to start the mower and smelled of the gas, that had sprayed on me, on numerous occasions...I escorted him into the garage and grabbed my equipment...
"My car or yours?" I asked.
"Mine," he replied, "Your driving makes me nervous."
"So does yours" I countered, "You drive like an old person...we waste valuable fishing time driving at your rate!"
"You waste valuable fishing time with your obstinate devotion to that mower" "Let's compromise...We'll take my car and you can drive...just don't move the seat!" he demanded!
I was up for most of his compromise...except for the seat part! His legs seemed like they were half the length of mine...which was not true...he just liked sitting on top of the steering wheel...I like sitting back."
In no time, we were at one of our favorite "Secret Spots." It wasn't as crowded as usual and we set up our lawn chairs in the shade of a tree.
He reached into his bag and pulled out his radio and asked, "What channel?"
I replied with the station that we listened to, for all these years...and in our tradition he replied, "Good...that is the only one this electronic "marvel" can get! I have to get a new one someday...I just hate replacing something that has served me so well!"
Within about 15 minutes, we had caught and released the daily limit and calculated the mean size and confirmed that the average size was the "keep size" that also was allowed by the fishing regulations. Now the real fishing could begin! But that also meant that I would "fish" into his thoughts and he into mine!
"Have you ever thought about the fact that everyone is on a mission?"
"On second thought...that everyone has a mission...but most do not realize it?" he reflected.
Just then our discussion was interrupted by a man and a horde of children, who stumbled up to us, dropped an arm load of chairs and tangled poles and tackle. Then, he began setting up right next to us.
"Catching anything? he asked, "What'cha use'in?"
"50mm shiners" came the reply...AND without losing a beat or taking a breath, he asked "What is your mission in life?"
The man looked at him as if we were aliens and replied "Millimeters? Missions? ...I ain't got no mission...are you some kind of religious freaks?"..."You foreigners come over here with your weird rulers and ideas...and think you can tell us what to do!" You wear those fancy shoes and think you are better than us...MISSION...What the &#$&!!! do you think I am some kind of spy? And you...you smell like a ^%#$$!!! gas station! You guys sit there trying to trick us Americans by listening to baseball and making you think you are our friends...and then you start spouting off this religious stuff about missions and millimeters...and try to brainwash us!
...AND with that...
He quickly gathered his stuff up and herded his children down the river...well out of sight.
I sat in my lawn chair is silence and utter disbelief! I wish I could have seen my face!
"Now there is a great example of what I was talking about!" he smiled. "People avoid the concept of a personal mission...to the point of defensiveness and aggression...yet everyone has a mission...they just can't tell you what it is and they can not admit that they haven't ever thought of it."
"But in that guy...I think we have found someone who shouldn't have a mission!" he laughed. That comment succeeded in taking my mouth from wide open to a smile!
At this point in the conversation I was hoping that he wouldn't ask me to specifically recite my mission...because from my perspective...it was still in the making...
"Although, my mission is clear to me...it is always in the making..." he continued.
I breathed a sigh of relief!
"BUT...I can specifically tell you what it is, at this moment...with the provision that at any moment, I may discover something that adds to or changes it slightly..."
"Everyone should dedicate time to clarifying their mission...and have it written out...physically writing it out is almost as important as having one!"
"If you can not spell out your mission...you are trying to go on a trip without directions and will travel aimlessly through life...and if it is not written out...it is like taking that trip by memorizing the map."
"When I think about how to create personal missions...you have it down to a science...but...for organizations..."
"What you teach to organizations, is exactly what individuals should be doing..." "The WHAT? and the HOW?"
"It is like..."
"I am traveling to New York City, with my car..."
"That is a good specific mission!"
"It says what I am doing and how or the means by which, I am going to achieve it!"
"Then for me to say that I am making companies better is insufficient?" I asked.
"You got one" he exclaimed!
"The mission...or...the concept..?" I asked
"No...a bite!" he laughed!
I reeled in the fish and he netted it...
"No matter where in the world, I fish...I seem to always go back to my roots..." he observed as he gazed at the landing net.
"It may be the same with a mission..."
"Your mission in life has always been there...you simply have to discover it..." "Discovery does not change your mission...it only clarifies it!"
"In fact, many people recognize your mission before you do!" "They can see it in you before you do!"
"That is why a mission should never be contemplated alone..."
"You should get as much feedback and opinions about your mission as you can possibly stand!"
"It is like an outsiders view of one's vehicle or mower..."
"You get attached and comfortable to what you have and that really skews reality!"
"Outsiders can give you an unbiased view."
At that moment his rod bent and he struggled to land a monster fish!
"WOW!" he exclaimed, "That is a definite 99 percentile example...It is a shame to throw it back! It would make a great lunch..."
"Let's fry him up" I hinted...
"Nope...a rule is a rule"
"A mission should never break rules...and they should always be reality checked against the limitations that you have set upon yourself...that is why you need to include the "HOW" in your mission." "If I decided to travel to New York City by plane, would I be fulfilling my mission?"
"When I think about it, in combination with your comments of late...my traveling to New York City, by my car, is probably unrealistic..."
"I look to outsiders (like you) to validate that my mission is possible with the how I intend to achieve it!"
At this point, in the conversation, we had caught enough fish for a great feast!"
He sauntered back to his car and got out his "mobile cooking utensils" and I started a small grill...the aromas were great and the flavor from our frying pan even better!
...then...
We, as quickly as we set up...packed up, and left to fix the HOWs of our at least one part of our missions...
For him that meant a new car and for me...
...a new mower!
We both ended our days with our "Hows" more aligned with our "Whats!"
And he drove to New York City the very next day!
I could mow the yard, in less than an hour, if everything went well...but it usually took 2 to 3 hours...to fix the mower and keep it running long enough to finish. I always breathed a triumphant sigh when I was done!
I never rued the lawn mowing task...even though I threatened the machine EVERY WEEKEND with replacement. It ignored my threats, because I think it knew that I liked the challenges that it provided to me! In between it use...it thought up new challenges for me...which I always creatively overcame!
Enough of that for now...
I was standing and surveying my accomplishment and smelling the fast fading aromas of the freshly cut greenery, when his car pulled into my driveway and jerked to a stop. He crawled from the sagging seat and walked up to me, with a HUGE weekend smile!
"The lawn looks great...as always!" he noted, "When are you going to replace that mower of yours?" "It will give us a lot more time to do the things we love...if you did!"
"When are you going to replace that car?" I responded...
"I'll replace that car...when the cost of using it is more than the value I get...what about you?" He replied..."I didn't drive over here to argue about our machines...do you want to go fishing?"
A passion for "fishing" was one of the things we had in common. Although he grew up dragging or casting nets in the sea, and I learned to fish on inland freshwater lakes...our fishing paths converged and we shared this sport as often as time allowed...we enjoyed the challenge and eating a meager amount of our catch each time we went out...and we enjoyed our talks too!
It gave him time to mentor me and I him...the mentoring sessions had evolved into that...it was no longer uni-directional...but we found that we both had things we could share with each other...he knew that long before I did...
"I should have known that you wanted to go fishing." I smiled. "You always wear those shoes when you want to fish!"
"I always wear these shoes on the weekend!" he scolded, "They are my weekend shoes!"
"GOTCHA!" I said. He looked at me as if I didn't make any sense...and perhaps I didn't...so I explained..."Therefore...every weekend, you want to fish!"
In a way that was true!
We fished at every opportunity.
Sometimes after work...we'd meet at a favorite place and build a fire and listen to "a ballgame" on his scratchy battery powered A.M. radio, until the "Star Spangled Banner" played and the announcer bid us "a good night and a good morning..."
We caught a ton of fish together, but never kept the fish at either end of "the bell curve." If you want a healthy population, don't take the small ones or the big ones. There are too few of them. Take only the ones in the middle of the curve...they are the most common.
So, when we fished, we would catch a few fish and figure out what an average fish was...then return any fish that was not within a certain range of our calculated average! It was a fun way to keep us sharp on statistics!
We ate well! Many times right there on the shore! Today...I was craving fish...so I hoped that our little excursion would pay off! I really had no doubt that it would...he always did his homework and knew where the fish were biting...and exactly what bait to use...he had high-level friends at the bait shops and they told him everything!
If we went fishing, I knew I had to put up with his stories about casting nets...and Mediterranean storms and how it was sometimes the only thing they had to eat! But that was a small price to pay for his friendship!
I would return the favor by repeating the few great stories I had...and he obliged me too!
It was a tradition...and an essential part of a good fishing excursion...
I looked at him and could see in his eyes that he was craving fish too! He was on a "fish'in mission..."
He had the clearest eyes of anyone that I knew! When one says that the eyes are the mirrors of the soul...his were windows...
Although they were sometimes bloodshot from late night fishing or too much rum...they always looked the same! They had intent...but not piercing intent...they were eyes set on his real mission...they told his entire story...
When he looked at you, they conveyed a feeling similar to the looks you see, in the eyes of people at an animal shelter. It was a blend of sympathy and a desire. A drive to adopt you and save you from your plight...but there was a sadness in them. That sadness came, when you combined the previous feelings with a realization that he had...that there is nothing that he can really do...
That look NEVER changed...ever! He had his mission and he held to it...
Although I was wringing wet, from almost an hour of trying to start the mower and smelled of the gas, that had sprayed on me, on numerous occasions...I escorted him into the garage and grabbed my equipment...
"My car or yours?" I asked.
"Mine," he replied, "Your driving makes me nervous."
"So does yours" I countered, "You drive like an old person...we waste valuable fishing time driving at your rate!"
"You waste valuable fishing time with your obstinate devotion to that mower" "Let's compromise...We'll take my car and you can drive...just don't move the seat!" he demanded!
I was up for most of his compromise...except for the seat part! His legs seemed like they were half the length of mine...which was not true...he just liked sitting on top of the steering wheel...I like sitting back."
In no time, we were at one of our favorite "Secret Spots." It wasn't as crowded as usual and we set up our lawn chairs in the shade of a tree.
He reached into his bag and pulled out his radio and asked, "What channel?"
I replied with the station that we listened to, for all these years...and in our tradition he replied, "Good...that is the only one this electronic "marvel" can get! I have to get a new one someday...I just hate replacing something that has served me so well!"
Within about 15 minutes, we had caught and released the daily limit and calculated the mean size and confirmed that the average size was the "keep size" that also was allowed by the fishing regulations. Now the real fishing could begin! But that also meant that I would "fish" into his thoughts and he into mine!
"Have you ever thought about the fact that everyone is on a mission?"
"On second thought...that everyone has a mission...but most do not realize it?" he reflected.
Just then our discussion was interrupted by a man and a horde of children, who stumbled up to us, dropped an arm load of chairs and tangled poles and tackle. Then, he began setting up right next to us.
"Catching anything? he asked, "What'cha use'in?"
"50mm shiners" came the reply...AND without losing a beat or taking a breath, he asked "What is your mission in life?"
The man looked at him as if we were aliens and replied "Millimeters? Missions? ...I ain't got no mission...are you some kind of religious freaks?"..."You foreigners come over here with your weird rulers and ideas...and think you can tell us what to do!" You wear those fancy shoes and think you are better than us...MISSION...What the &#$&!!! do you think I am some kind of spy? And you...you smell like a ^%#$$!!! gas station! You guys sit there trying to trick us Americans by listening to baseball and making you think you are our friends...and then you start spouting off this religious stuff about missions and millimeters...and try to brainwash us!
...AND with that...
He quickly gathered his stuff up and herded his children down the river...well out of sight.
I sat in my lawn chair is silence and utter disbelief! I wish I could have seen my face!
"Now there is a great example of what I was talking about!" he smiled. "People avoid the concept of a personal mission...to the point of defensiveness and aggression...yet everyone has a mission...they just can't tell you what it is and they can not admit that they haven't ever thought of it."
"But in that guy...I think we have found someone who shouldn't have a mission!" he laughed. That comment succeeded in taking my mouth from wide open to a smile!
At this point in the conversation I was hoping that he wouldn't ask me to specifically recite my mission...because from my perspective...it was still in the making...
"Although, my mission is clear to me...it is always in the making..." he continued.
I breathed a sigh of relief!
"BUT...I can specifically tell you what it is, at this moment...with the provision that at any moment, I may discover something that adds to or changes it slightly..."
"Everyone should dedicate time to clarifying their mission...and have it written out...physically writing it out is almost as important as having one!"
"If you can not spell out your mission...you are trying to go on a trip without directions and will travel aimlessly through life...and if it is not written out...it is like taking that trip by memorizing the map."
"When I think about how to create personal missions...you have it down to a science...but...for organizations..."
"What you teach to organizations, is exactly what individuals should be doing..." "The WHAT? and the HOW?"
"It is like..."
"I am traveling to New York City, with my car..."
"That is a good specific mission!"
"It says what I am doing and how or the means by which, I am going to achieve it!"
"Then for me to say that I am making companies better is insufficient?" I asked.
"You got one" he exclaimed!
"The mission...or...the concept..?" I asked
"No...a bite!" he laughed!
I reeled in the fish and he netted it...
"No matter where in the world, I fish...I seem to always go back to my roots..." he observed as he gazed at the landing net.
"It may be the same with a mission..."
"Your mission in life has always been there...you simply have to discover it..." "Discovery does not change your mission...it only clarifies it!"
"In fact, many people recognize your mission before you do!" "They can see it in you before you do!"
"That is why a mission should never be contemplated alone..."
"You should get as much feedback and opinions about your mission as you can possibly stand!"
"It is like an outsiders view of one's vehicle or mower..."
"You get attached and comfortable to what you have and that really skews reality!"
"Outsiders can give you an unbiased view."
At that moment his rod bent and he struggled to land a monster fish!
"WOW!" he exclaimed, "That is a definite 99 percentile example...It is a shame to throw it back! It would make a great lunch..."
"Let's fry him up" I hinted...
"Nope...a rule is a rule"
"A mission should never break rules...and they should always be reality checked against the limitations that you have set upon yourself...that is why you need to include the "HOW" in your mission." "If I decided to travel to New York City by plane, would I be fulfilling my mission?"
"When I think about it, in combination with your comments of late...my traveling to New York City, by my car, is probably unrealistic..."
"I look to outsiders (like you) to validate that my mission is possible with the how I intend to achieve it!"
At this point, in the conversation, we had caught enough fish for a great feast!"
He sauntered back to his car and got out his "mobile cooking utensils" and I started a small grill...the aromas were great and the flavor from our frying pan even better!
...then...
We, as quickly as we set up...packed up, and left to fix the HOWs of our at least one part of our missions...
For him that meant a new car and for me...
...a new mower!
We both ended our days with our "Hows" more aligned with our "Whats!"
And he drove to New York City the very next day!
Friday, October 2, 2009
Can you Handle Living Your Dream?
As much as I am a person who advocates change...I do not advocate change for the sake of change itself...
There must be a valid reason or benefit for change...otherwise...one should strictly hold true, to what they are doing...
That creates an interesting polarity in my life...
I am constantly on the hunt for things that require change...but a strict adherent to routine! This is the secret of a successful Continuous Improvement mind set...
My Saturday Mornings began early...with a routine...
After making myself minimally acceptable to the outside world...I would hop on my bicycle and ride...and think...but mostly ride!
I loved the feeling of the air passing by me...and the smooth feeling of the surface I rode on...
Sometimes I rode fast and hard...other times...leisurely! The pace was determined quite by chance...I could start out fast and end up slow...or just the opposite...or any of the various combinations...I just went with it! The one thing that I could count upon was that I would ride...and that was what I wanted...and got!
This morning started as usual and since Daylight Savings time had not yet hit...it was still dark...
I stumbled through my routine, and rode to my favorite bike trail...being early...I was guaranteed one thing...solitude!
As I rounded the corner at the entrance...through the darkness, I could make out that someone else was on "my trail!" He was slowly riding in circles on the wider portion of the path...half in the darkness and half in the filtered light coming from a nearby streetlight...
As I approached...I could see that the bike was old and rusted...and the rider was a bit unsure of himself and wobbly...making me smile just a bit! It looked as if he was practicing!
I breathed a sigh of relief...because I knew that even if he was to ride the trail...he couldn't keep up with me and I would have my solitude...that was nice...
I was still a distance away from him and I stopped to adjusted my shoes. He turned on his circular orbit and faced me...that is when I recognized who it was!
"What are you doing here?" I asked, "You hate bikes!"
"I don't hate bikes...they just remind me of when I was forced to ride them to get anywhere!" he taunted back, "I am old...and should be chauffeured around...not FORCED to contribute to my travels!"
His discontinued his previous route and coasted over to me...
"You didn't answer my question." I reminded...
"Rather than sleep in...I thought that I would see how you spend your Saturday mornings!" he smiled...
I knew that that was half-true...by the time I woke up...he had half a day in...so something else was up...
"Nice helmet" he commented..."Do you really ride fast enough to warrant wearing one...or is it just a bicycler's status symbol?"
"Nice bike" I responded, "I think you should wear my helmet...that thing is going to kill you if you don't!"..."When did you get a bike?"
He told me that a few weeks prior he was driving home and saw the bike in the trash pick-up...so he picked it up and fixed it up so that he could ride...I concluded that I did not want to know what it looked like before he fixed it up...
Come on he said...let's ride! We started down the path...he leading and I following. That is when I noticed that his rear tire was nearly flat...
We can't ride with a your tire like that!
He told me that it holds air for 2 to 3 hours before it goes totally flat...which from my calculations was nearly up...
"How long have you been here?" I asked
"I got here around 3" he replied, "I didn't want to miss you!"
"That was 3 and 1/2 hours ago..." I laughed, "I can not believe you!"
We rode about 500 yards and he asked if we could stop at the bench up ahead. I couldn't deny his request...riding a bike with a flat tire was total insanity...and I thought that I could teach him a "biking lesson."
We pedaled up to the park bench and I saw that directly in the middle were two cups of coffee and a box of donuts. It was a bit eerie!
"Those are ours..." he declared..."Yours is on the right and mine on the left!"
I was now a bit suspicious of his intent...things appeared too set-up!
"Does every bench along the path have something on it?" I inquired.
"No!" he responded, "Just the one at the end of our ride!" "I figured that we'd need some food and coffee when we finished up."
All I could do was laugh! The message was clear...I knew that my ride was over...
We took our places on the bench...
The mugs were "The Mrs" best! I knew that if she was still with him (from the stories he told) she would beat him senseless. They were filled with "his coffee" 6 parts grounds and 1 part water and real cream! Under the bench was a HUGE thermos and the pastries, were again in one of "The Mrs" finest...were of foreign origin, and probably flown in from some obscure country!
He never did anything halfway...that was one of the things I liked about him...it was almost cute!
As we watched the sun rise over the lake, whose shores began just a few feet from the path which between us and it...we quietly listened to the earth awaken and somewhat like a child's tea party politely shared the coffee and treats!
Then he broke the silence...
"Do you know what impresses me about you?" he asked.
"Nothing?" I replied...
He smiled...ignoring my snide remark "Your economy of action! I did not teach you that...it comes to you naturally...you can create WIN/WIN situations with little or no effort..."
"You have HIGH aspirations...dreams...too! You give the people what they need and it gives you what you need...but they come first..."
"AND...if it supports your dreams...they are rewarded by getting more than what they expected..."
"When you combine these two things...that is powerful...sometimes too powerful!"
"OK" I interrupted, "Where is this going?"
He continued as if I wasn't there..."Are you ready to handle your dream? Can you handle your dream?"
"What you aspire to do is HUGE! You are more than capable...in fact...you can do it in your sleep...but, ARE YOU READY TO HANDLE YOUR DREAM?"
"That is a tough question" I replied, "I guess that is why I have a mentor..."
He gave me that look of "keep quiet and listen" that I knew so well...and I took heed and filled my mouth with a huge bite...knowing I would not talk...if chewing!
"Everyone dreams...some of those dreams are big dreams...some people either by chance or fate or hard work get their dreams...and then they can't handle it! Some people work their entire life to retire and when retirement comes...have nothing to do...or they go crazy because the dream was too much!"
"To be totally honest with you...I couldn't handle my dream! SO I came back to work...something safe and secure and predictable."
"You are going to get your dreams and aspirations...it will take time and effort...but at some point in your life...you are going to have the chance to open the door and it will be there!"
"I hope that I am here to see that day!"
"When that door is in front of you...will you be ready to open it?" "That is a scary situation!" It will not open for you...no one will open it for you...and it will not be open when you arrive!" "It will be only upon your action that the door will open..."
"After the door is open...you and those who are with you, will enter an entirely different world!" "AND it will be the one you always dreamed of!"
"Dream wisely...if you are flippant with your dreams...you could create a mess!"
"Use what comes naturally to you today as the foundation of your dreams and aspirations...have many win with you...whether it is your family...friends...trusted coworkers...whoever...make it a WIN/WIN..."
"Don't be afraid when the time comes...chase it...not as if it is the arrival, but another start!"
"That is what true dreams and aspirations are...beginnings not endings!"
"Even the end of Grimm's fairy tales ended with...and they LIVED happily ever after..."
"The story end with a beginning..."
"You know...I brought "The Mrs" with us today...in her best china...for a reason..."
"To tell her that I was sorry...for not following through with our dreams!"
"I got scared! and I blew it!"
"Don't make the same mistake..."
He smiled, took a deep breath, leaned forward and gazed into the water...he suddenly was really far away...and we sat quietly again!
I did not want to pull him back to the park...where ever he was, he needed to be there...he was dreaming...and he wasn't afraid to be there...
He was brought back to the present when the shadows moved well behind us, and "The Mrs" gave us a warm hug through the early rays of the sun...It was as if she heard what he shared and thanked him for saying it...and me for being the one who brought it out!
The tire on his bike was totally flat. Knowing that he had about 10 miles to ride, I told him that I would go and get the car, if he waited here...and we'd take him home...
He them reached into the empty pastry container and took out the cardboard that it was sitting on...
"I have this handled." he said
On the back side of the cardboard was written...
"Take this bicycle, if you need it...it has served me well"
He wedged the sign between a cable and the frame...
That's when I noticed that the bicycle was made in his home town...
Without saying a word we walked back out to the trail entrance...to where I saw his car parked...
After he started his car...he rolled down the window and said, "I'll buy a new bike if I ever see the need..."
The very next weekend we rode 40 miles...
There must be a valid reason or benefit for change...otherwise...one should strictly hold true, to what they are doing...
That creates an interesting polarity in my life...
I am constantly on the hunt for things that require change...but a strict adherent to routine! This is the secret of a successful Continuous Improvement mind set...
My Saturday Mornings began early...with a routine...
After making myself minimally acceptable to the outside world...I would hop on my bicycle and ride...and think...but mostly ride!
I loved the feeling of the air passing by me...and the smooth feeling of the surface I rode on...
Sometimes I rode fast and hard...other times...leisurely! The pace was determined quite by chance...I could start out fast and end up slow...or just the opposite...or any of the various combinations...I just went with it! The one thing that I could count upon was that I would ride...and that was what I wanted...and got!
This morning started as usual and since Daylight Savings time had not yet hit...it was still dark...
I stumbled through my routine, and rode to my favorite bike trail...being early...I was guaranteed one thing...solitude!
As I rounded the corner at the entrance...through the darkness, I could make out that someone else was on "my trail!" He was slowly riding in circles on the wider portion of the path...half in the darkness and half in the filtered light coming from a nearby streetlight...
As I approached...I could see that the bike was old and rusted...and the rider was a bit unsure of himself and wobbly...making me smile just a bit! It looked as if he was practicing!
I breathed a sigh of relief...because I knew that even if he was to ride the trail...he couldn't keep up with me and I would have my solitude...that was nice...
I was still a distance away from him and I stopped to adjusted my shoes. He turned on his circular orbit and faced me...that is when I recognized who it was!
"What are you doing here?" I asked, "You hate bikes!"
"I don't hate bikes...they just remind me of when I was forced to ride them to get anywhere!" he taunted back, "I am old...and should be chauffeured around...not FORCED to contribute to my travels!"
His discontinued his previous route and coasted over to me...
"You didn't answer my question." I reminded...
"Rather than sleep in...I thought that I would see how you spend your Saturday mornings!" he smiled...
I knew that that was half-true...by the time I woke up...he had half a day in...so something else was up...
"Nice helmet" he commented..."Do you really ride fast enough to warrant wearing one...or is it just a bicycler's status symbol?"
"Nice bike" I responded, "I think you should wear my helmet...that thing is going to kill you if you don't!"..."When did you get a bike?"
He told me that a few weeks prior he was driving home and saw the bike in the trash pick-up...so he picked it up and fixed it up so that he could ride...I concluded that I did not want to know what it looked like before he fixed it up...
Come on he said...let's ride! We started down the path...he leading and I following. That is when I noticed that his rear tire was nearly flat...
We can't ride with a your tire like that!
He told me that it holds air for 2 to 3 hours before it goes totally flat...which from my calculations was nearly up...
"How long have you been here?" I asked
"I got here around 3" he replied, "I didn't want to miss you!"
"That was 3 and 1/2 hours ago..." I laughed, "I can not believe you!"
We rode about 500 yards and he asked if we could stop at the bench up ahead. I couldn't deny his request...riding a bike with a flat tire was total insanity...and I thought that I could teach him a "biking lesson."
We pedaled up to the park bench and I saw that directly in the middle were two cups of coffee and a box of donuts. It was a bit eerie!
"Those are ours..." he declared..."Yours is on the right and mine on the left!"
I was now a bit suspicious of his intent...things appeared too set-up!
"Does every bench along the path have something on it?" I inquired.
"No!" he responded, "Just the one at the end of our ride!" "I figured that we'd need some food and coffee when we finished up."
All I could do was laugh! The message was clear...I knew that my ride was over...
We took our places on the bench...
The mugs were "The Mrs" best! I knew that if she was still with him (from the stories he told) she would beat him senseless. They were filled with "his coffee" 6 parts grounds and 1 part water and real cream! Under the bench was a HUGE thermos and the pastries, were again in one of "The Mrs" finest...were of foreign origin, and probably flown in from some obscure country!
He never did anything halfway...that was one of the things I liked about him...it was almost cute!
As we watched the sun rise over the lake, whose shores began just a few feet from the path which between us and it...we quietly listened to the earth awaken and somewhat like a child's tea party politely shared the coffee and treats!
Then he broke the silence...
"Do you know what impresses me about you?" he asked.
"Nothing?" I replied...
He smiled...ignoring my snide remark "Your economy of action! I did not teach you that...it comes to you naturally...you can create WIN/WIN situations with little or no effort..."
"You have HIGH aspirations...dreams...too! You give the people what they need and it gives you what you need...but they come first..."
"AND...if it supports your dreams...they are rewarded by getting more than what they expected..."
"When you combine these two things...that is powerful...sometimes too powerful!"
"OK" I interrupted, "Where is this going?"
He continued as if I wasn't there..."Are you ready to handle your dream? Can you handle your dream?"
"What you aspire to do is HUGE! You are more than capable...in fact...you can do it in your sleep...but, ARE YOU READY TO HANDLE YOUR DREAM?"
"That is a tough question" I replied, "I guess that is why I have a mentor..."
He gave me that look of "keep quiet and listen" that I knew so well...and I took heed and filled my mouth with a huge bite...knowing I would not talk...if chewing!
"Everyone dreams...some of those dreams are big dreams...some people either by chance or fate or hard work get their dreams...and then they can't handle it! Some people work their entire life to retire and when retirement comes...have nothing to do...or they go crazy because the dream was too much!"
"To be totally honest with you...I couldn't handle my dream! SO I came back to work...something safe and secure and predictable."
"You are going to get your dreams and aspirations...it will take time and effort...but at some point in your life...you are going to have the chance to open the door and it will be there!"
"I hope that I am here to see that day!"
"When that door is in front of you...will you be ready to open it?" "That is a scary situation!" It will not open for you...no one will open it for you...and it will not be open when you arrive!" "It will be only upon your action that the door will open..."
"After the door is open...you and those who are with you, will enter an entirely different world!" "AND it will be the one you always dreamed of!"
"Dream wisely...if you are flippant with your dreams...you could create a mess!"
"Use what comes naturally to you today as the foundation of your dreams and aspirations...have many win with you...whether it is your family...friends...trusted coworkers...whoever...make it a WIN/WIN..."
"Don't be afraid when the time comes...chase it...not as if it is the arrival, but another start!"
"That is what true dreams and aspirations are...beginnings not endings!"
"Even the end of Grimm's fairy tales ended with...and they LIVED happily ever after..."
"The story end with a beginning..."
"You know...I brought "The Mrs" with us today...in her best china...for a reason..."
"To tell her that I was sorry...for not following through with our dreams!"
"I got scared! and I blew it!"
"Don't make the same mistake..."
He smiled, took a deep breath, leaned forward and gazed into the water...he suddenly was really far away...and we sat quietly again!
I did not want to pull him back to the park...where ever he was, he needed to be there...he was dreaming...and he wasn't afraid to be there...
He was brought back to the present when the shadows moved well behind us, and "The Mrs" gave us a warm hug through the early rays of the sun...It was as if she heard what he shared and thanked him for saying it...and me for being the one who brought it out!
The tire on his bike was totally flat. Knowing that he had about 10 miles to ride, I told him that I would go and get the car, if he waited here...and we'd take him home...
He them reached into the empty pastry container and took out the cardboard that it was sitting on...
"I have this handled." he said
On the back side of the cardboard was written...
"Take this bicycle, if you need it...it has served me well"
He wedged the sign between a cable and the frame...
That's when I noticed that the bicycle was made in his home town...
Without saying a word we walked back out to the trail entrance...to where I saw his car parked...
After he started his car...he rolled down the window and said, "I'll buy a new bike if I ever see the need..."
The very next weekend we rode 40 miles...
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