As I worked through the myriad of issues within this organization, I found that specific behaviors could easily be put into three separate categories...
Those that were beneficial...
Those that were detrimental...
Those that just didn't make sense!
Categorization was a matter of perspective and driven by the intended goals...
If one was altruistic...the "buckets" looked entirely different from the categorizations driven by self-serving motives.
This was one of those epiphanies of the utterly obvious...and a flag to me that I needed to shift my focus from the issues to those things that drove the behaviors...
This brought back a conversation that we had quite a while back on where a true leader stands in the organization...
"Leadership is not at the head...it is the heart," he told me...
"Many leaders (by nature of their title) misconstrue their place in an organization,"
"They think that they drive the organization from the top...when they should be among the organization..."
"What a leader hopes to achieve must permeate the organization...if a leader thinks that his or her influence can trickle down...they must also believe that when they play the game "telephone" their message is conveyed accurately and without change..."
"That is the crux of change management..."
"An effective change manager identifies two things who the real leaders are...and what needs to change..."
"Leaders who sit in their office...and drive an organization from the security of walnut and velvet...are simply figureheads...they can not effectively influence an organization..."
"This sets the stage for internal strife...and actually a very subtle mutiny..."
"The internal leaders take over...more often than not...they are self-serving...and deceptive..."
These low level leaders subvert the real mission of the organization to keep their position...or make their bonuses"
"The important thing is that it is easy to spot who is really in control...by first looking at the general personality of the organization...and then identifying (matching) the organization's personality with an individual..."
"To change an organization...you have to change that individual..."
"Change takes on many forms...from changing their personal motives...to changing that individual out of the organization..."
He was really good at organizational change...
He fully understood the role he played in the organizational drama...and that many lives hinged on his decisions...organizations trusted his opinions...and more often than not followed his direction...
He worked diligently to first change motives...
If that failed...he had no qualms about suggesting the termination of the relationship...
He was the king of fierce conversations...he up front...told those people that things needed to change...and not just the behaviors...but the foundation upon which they were built...he put everyone on notice...
Some stayed...others left...
He always tried his best...because he knew that few if any of the people that he was working with could get positions like they have if they had to search outside...
What bothered me was not the categorizations of beneficial or detrimental...those were easy to understand...
I had no understanding of those behaviors that just didn't make sense...
Perhaps this is why it didn't make sense...a vicious circle that I needed to understand and rectify...
"Not all information can be gleaned through observation"
"That is one of the basic leadership failures..."
"Sometimes you have to be a part of the data source, to understand the data itself..."
"You are a leader...and perhaps...you are falling prey to the leadership conundrum itself..."
He often spoke to me cryptically...I think he did so that I would think through his statement and really learn and make it part my being...rather than just intellectualizing...it often frustrated me...
"Just tell me what to do...instead of telling me what to think about..." I would say out of frustration...
"He would respond with, "I just told you what to do...and if thinking about it is what you need to do...then think about it!"
He always put me in my place...
I was often impatient...he knew what it took to grow a perfect redwood...and he was will to do what it took...including the time element..."
As I reflected on this conversation...I realized that I already had what I needed to to put this organization on the right track...he had planted the seeds...
If I were to see him for this reason alone...the conversation would just be a replay from the past...
He was that consistent...
He often said, "Didn't we talk about this before? I thought you grasped it...I am not changing my opinion..."
And he was right...
Over time...I learned not to rehash...old topics...but only bring up new challenges...
I thought before I spoke and spoke before I acted...
More often than not...I could apply what I already knew...
In a way...I realized that he was always beside me...
and his thoughts guided me...sometimes I took his advice...other times I went entirely against it...but it was there...and it made a positive difference...
It was at that moment that I learned to enjoy who he was...
I no longer had to bother him with my petty issues...
Now even the "senseless" started to make sense...
It was understanding and real empathy that made the difference...
It was about being "in" and not at...
It was about real engagement and connection...
Leadership is about true passion...that permeates the organization from the inside...not from the head...
They didn't need it...I did...
I called him...and we went fishing...
Wednesday, April 21, 2010
Wednesday, April 14, 2010
Passion and Capability - Chapter 8
I hadn't seen him in days and was going into a friendship withdrawal...so I decided that I would stop in at his house and see him on my way home...
I rang his doorbell and heard him yell, "the door is open...come on in..."
I let myself in and found him in his study, working at his PC.
"What are you up to?" I inquired...
"Just updating my resume...there finished!" he declared
The state of the art (at that time), laser printer hummed and spit out a single page. He reached down took it from the printer and handed it to me.
"What do you think of it?" he asked
Before I looked, I wondered what font it was written in...his resume should cover 20 pages if printed in a readable font...
I looked down and I know that my face conveyed a message that he was not expecting...
The resume simply had his name at the top...
The next three lines...his contact information...
and then a bullet list of ten successful experiences...
at the bottom of the page...the following line...
I am looking to apply, what I have learned from those ten experiences, to your company and take your profitability to a higher level. Call me if you are interested, and if you are not interested, call me and I will further explain what you are missing.
For anyone but him...I would have to say that this sounded a bit arrogant...
"That is definitely a nontraditional resume," I commented...
"How many are you going to send out?" I asked
"Just one..."
I had to laugh...perhaps at his naivete...perhaps because I knew that was really all he had to do...
"Why did you look like you did? I was a bit worried that I made some major error."
"I am wondering what you were updating...this doesn't look like the resumes that I am used to..."
"I changed my phone so I put the new number on it. I also changed my ten experiences to match what I want to do next."
"But let's divert a bit...Traditional resumes are interesting vehicles. They are traditional...and from their use...the best a person can expect...is traditional results..."
"...it is simple supply and demand...if there is more people than jobs...then a resume works poorly...if there are more jobs than people...the resume works well. The bottom line is that you can tweak them...but traditional methods produce traditional results..."
"Non-traditional resumes work either better or worse than traditional ones...but that depends more on the person than the paper!"
He continued to explain what used to be on his list and how he had leveraged those experiences into his current challenges...
His explanation faded into the background of my consciousness and I mentally traveled back to a discussion that we had many years ago...
"There are two types of people within organizations...people who chase money and position and those who chase experience..."
"My advice to you is that for the next 20 to 30 years you chase the latter...experience..."
"Money and position for those who have not earned the right to it...is for short-sighted individuals who simply need immediate gratification..."
"Experience is an investment...in your future and critical components that help guarantee your success..."
"Some may argue that working in a higher level position gives a person experience...I have really never seen that happen...if a person happens to get a high level job and they are incapable...the experiential part of the job is usually delegated to subordinates..."
"In fact...many of the jobs that you should seek...should be working for people like that...you'll be given and gain more experience than you ever would...if you work for a competent leader!"
A lot of time has passed and my list of successful experiences has grown...since that conversation...
"Perhaps my resume should start looking like his..." I thought...
"You win some and you lose some...if you learn something from those losses...you win in either case...and both are investments in greater success in your next assignment..."
I liked the way he looked at things...and I was always impressed that he not only talked a good game...it was his game...
"There is a local company that has some problems..." I heard as his voice and it brought me back to the present...
"I have never worked in that industry...So I made this list of experiences that should give the reader the epiphany..."I NEED THIS GUY! I am going to send it off tomorrow"
"Have you ever done this before?" I asked
"What? Sought out new experiences...or used a resume like this?" he asked in clarification
"The resume?" I responded
"This is the only way I have sought out the jobs and the experiences I wanted...but that took time..."
"In 10 or so years...you'll be able to do the same...until then...go the traditional route...and use your interviews to direct the obvious conclusions..."
"I want decisions to be simple...complicated documents, lead to complicated decisions...and more often than not...the wrong ones..."
"This is true not only in job searches...but in everything you do...make the documents simple and straight-forward...and let the reader draw the conclusions..."
"...if they can't make the right decision...take the time to work with them..."
"So how is your half-man doing?" he shifted the conversation without taking a breath...
"He is doing great...Actually, I think he has changed more than his department..."
"His obsession for running really got to my nerves...I wrote him off...because it appeared that he didn't want to be engaged...then I realized that he wanted to be engaged...he just didn't know how..."
"I figured that he didn't start running half-marathons immediately and probably started running a mile or so...and then worked his way up to the 12 miles...so I used the same tactic on him as a manager..."
"I asked for his help in things that he easily could accomplish and built his confidence...then I stretch him little by little...using the techniques that a trainer and a coach would use on a runner..."
"That was when I realized that I was not a professional Process Improvement person...I was a professional manager...aspiring to be a leader...at this point in my career...I am a trainer and a coach...and my goal was to train and coach leaders...I can run their departments...and often have to do that as an interim...but while I am doing that...I am teaching the real leaders how to do that..."
"That is what a professional manager does...I just happen to use the Continuous Improvement Management Methodology as my preferred method of managing people, processes and technology..."
"If I am doing my job correctly...I set the stage for my departure...which I think is getting close..."
"Perhaps I will need to create a resume that sets me up for my next experience..."
"I do not think you'll have to do that...if you do...that organization is absolutely foolish...but if I were you...I would not count on them to recognize who was at the helm...they could get arrogant and make the wrong decisions...thinking that it was their doing...or thinking that they have learned enough..."
"It is sad that organizations tout that they are learning machines...and miss the fact that learning is an infinite journey..."
"Let's make a list of the challenge that you faced...the successes that you had and what you learned from your failures..."
"An interesting thing about my resume...it is my tactic..."
"For you...I think it is your strategy..."
"Perhaps you are ready to use my resume format...but not like I use it"
"What do you want to experience next?"
"...and let's add a few of the elements that you learned from other experiences..."
"What company do you want to work for next?"
We went entirely through a series of surgical questions that quickly developed a piece of paper that looked like his...but took me down an entirely different path...
"Now what are you talking about with a tactical and a strategic slant to it's use?" I asked...
"Tactically...I send out the short version and keep the traditional resume for the face to face interview..."
"Strategically...you'll do just the opposite. Send the traditional resume and save the short version for the face to face."
"That is an interesting angle." I observed...
"Until you have made a reputation for yourself...you'll need to use the traditional method...and use contacts to get where you want to go...but you need to know where you want to go...in order to get there!"
"The short version is the map to your destination"
"What a cool thought!" I said in growing excitement
"Perhaps we can mail our next jobs out together..."
"I think that I'll wait on mine...until I know what their decision is," I replied
"Loyalty...that I one of the things that sets you apart my friend...I like that!" he smiled...
"Have you ever considered teaching that as part of your organizational change package?"
"WOW! talk about shifting gears on me!"
"My opinion is that true loyalty is something that is earned and not taught...and it is a two-way street...with one party making the first move...that's a cliche however..."
"Now that I think about it...loyalty can be taught...my instruction would begin with the real meaning of that cliche...that is the mind set necessery to being loyal...it ends with a behavior set of absolute consistency of behaviors that had the best interests of theirs in mind..."
"Lacking either set...and the effort is fruitless..."
"While we are on the subject of mind sets...let's discuss your resume..."
"A resume...or the CV is a tool that has many purposes...yet most people only use it for marketing..."
"The question that you have to ask yourself is...Am I simply looking for sales...or do I really have something of value to sell?...if you have something specific...then go out there and sell it! That will differentiate you from the ocean of people who use the traditional vehicle...traditionally...and make your results...non-traditional!"
"Can we print a copy of my short version?"
"I already did!"
I rang his doorbell and heard him yell, "the door is open...come on in..."
I let myself in and found him in his study, working at his PC.
"What are you up to?" I inquired...
"Just updating my resume...there finished!" he declared
The state of the art (at that time), laser printer hummed and spit out a single page. He reached down took it from the printer and handed it to me.
"What do you think of it?" he asked
Before I looked, I wondered what font it was written in...his resume should cover 20 pages if printed in a readable font...
I looked down and I know that my face conveyed a message that he was not expecting...
The resume simply had his name at the top...
The next three lines...his contact information...
and then a bullet list of ten successful experiences...
at the bottom of the page...the following line...
I am looking to apply, what I have learned from those ten experiences, to your company and take your profitability to a higher level. Call me if you are interested, and if you are not interested, call me and I will further explain what you are missing.
For anyone but him...I would have to say that this sounded a bit arrogant...
"That is definitely a nontraditional resume," I commented...
"How many are you going to send out?" I asked
"Just one..."
I had to laugh...perhaps at his naivete...perhaps because I knew that was really all he had to do...
"Why did you look like you did? I was a bit worried that I made some major error."
"I am wondering what you were updating...this doesn't look like the resumes that I am used to..."
"I changed my phone so I put the new number on it. I also changed my ten experiences to match what I want to do next."
"But let's divert a bit...Traditional resumes are interesting vehicles. They are traditional...and from their use...the best a person can expect...is traditional results..."
"...it is simple supply and demand...if there is more people than jobs...then a resume works poorly...if there are more jobs than people...the resume works well. The bottom line is that you can tweak them...but traditional methods produce traditional results..."
"Non-traditional resumes work either better or worse than traditional ones...but that depends more on the person than the paper!"
He continued to explain what used to be on his list and how he had leveraged those experiences into his current challenges...
His explanation faded into the background of my consciousness and I mentally traveled back to a discussion that we had many years ago...
"There are two types of people within organizations...people who chase money and position and those who chase experience..."
"My advice to you is that for the next 20 to 30 years you chase the latter...experience..."
"Money and position for those who have not earned the right to it...is for short-sighted individuals who simply need immediate gratification..."
"Experience is an investment...in your future and critical components that help guarantee your success..."
"Some may argue that working in a higher level position gives a person experience...I have really never seen that happen...if a person happens to get a high level job and they are incapable...the experiential part of the job is usually delegated to subordinates..."
"In fact...many of the jobs that you should seek...should be working for people like that...you'll be given and gain more experience than you ever would...if you work for a competent leader!"
A lot of time has passed and my list of successful experiences has grown...since that conversation...
"Perhaps my resume should start looking like his..." I thought...
"You win some and you lose some...if you learn something from those losses...you win in either case...and both are investments in greater success in your next assignment..."
I liked the way he looked at things...and I was always impressed that he not only talked a good game...it was his game...
"There is a local company that has some problems..." I heard as his voice and it brought me back to the present...
"I have never worked in that industry...So I made this list of experiences that should give the reader the epiphany..."I NEED THIS GUY! I am going to send it off tomorrow"
"Have you ever done this before?" I asked
"What? Sought out new experiences...or used a resume like this?" he asked in clarification
"The resume?" I responded
"This is the only way I have sought out the jobs and the experiences I wanted...but that took time..."
"In 10 or so years...you'll be able to do the same...until then...go the traditional route...and use your interviews to direct the obvious conclusions..."
"I want decisions to be simple...complicated documents, lead to complicated decisions...and more often than not...the wrong ones..."
"This is true not only in job searches...but in everything you do...make the documents simple and straight-forward...and let the reader draw the conclusions..."
"...if they can't make the right decision...take the time to work with them..."
"So how is your half-man doing?" he shifted the conversation without taking a breath...
"He is doing great...Actually, I think he has changed more than his department..."
"His obsession for running really got to my nerves...I wrote him off...because it appeared that he didn't want to be engaged...then I realized that he wanted to be engaged...he just didn't know how..."
"I figured that he didn't start running half-marathons immediately and probably started running a mile or so...and then worked his way up to the 12 miles...so I used the same tactic on him as a manager..."
"I asked for his help in things that he easily could accomplish and built his confidence...then I stretch him little by little...using the techniques that a trainer and a coach would use on a runner..."
"That was when I realized that I was not a professional Process Improvement person...I was a professional manager...aspiring to be a leader...at this point in my career...I am a trainer and a coach...and my goal was to train and coach leaders...I can run their departments...and often have to do that as an interim...but while I am doing that...I am teaching the real leaders how to do that..."
"That is what a professional manager does...I just happen to use the Continuous Improvement Management Methodology as my preferred method of managing people, processes and technology..."
"If I am doing my job correctly...I set the stage for my departure...which I think is getting close..."
"Perhaps I will need to create a resume that sets me up for my next experience..."
"I do not think you'll have to do that...if you do...that organization is absolutely foolish...but if I were you...I would not count on them to recognize who was at the helm...they could get arrogant and make the wrong decisions...thinking that it was their doing...or thinking that they have learned enough..."
"It is sad that organizations tout that they are learning machines...and miss the fact that learning is an infinite journey..."
"Let's make a list of the challenge that you faced...the successes that you had and what you learned from your failures..."
"An interesting thing about my resume...it is my tactic..."
"For you...I think it is your strategy..."
"Perhaps you are ready to use my resume format...but not like I use it"
"What do you want to experience next?"
"...and let's add a few of the elements that you learned from other experiences..."
"What company do you want to work for next?"
We went entirely through a series of surgical questions that quickly developed a piece of paper that looked like his...but took me down an entirely different path...
"Now what are you talking about with a tactical and a strategic slant to it's use?" I asked...
"Tactically...I send out the short version and keep the traditional resume for the face to face interview..."
"Strategically...you'll do just the opposite. Send the traditional resume and save the short version for the face to face."
"That is an interesting angle." I observed...
"Until you have made a reputation for yourself...you'll need to use the traditional method...and use contacts to get where you want to go...but you need to know where you want to go...in order to get there!"
"The short version is the map to your destination"
"What a cool thought!" I said in growing excitement
"Perhaps we can mail our next jobs out together..."
"I think that I'll wait on mine...until I know what their decision is," I replied
"Loyalty...that I one of the things that sets you apart my friend...I like that!" he smiled...
"Have you ever considered teaching that as part of your organizational change package?"
"WOW! talk about shifting gears on me!"
"My opinion is that true loyalty is something that is earned and not taught...and it is a two-way street...with one party making the first move...that's a cliche however..."
"Now that I think about it...loyalty can be taught...my instruction would begin with the real meaning of that cliche...that is the mind set necessery to being loyal...it ends with a behavior set of absolute consistency of behaviors that had the best interests of theirs in mind..."
"Lacking either set...and the effort is fruitless..."
"While we are on the subject of mind sets...let's discuss your resume..."
"A resume...or the CV is a tool that has many purposes...yet most people only use it for marketing..."
"The question that you have to ask yourself is...Am I simply looking for sales...or do I really have something of value to sell?...if you have something specific...then go out there and sell it! That will differentiate you from the ocean of people who use the traditional vehicle...traditionally...and make your results...non-traditional!"
"Can we print a copy of my short version?"
"I already did!"
Wednesday, April 7, 2010
Passion and Capability, Chapter 7
Over the few weeks that I had worked to permanently solve the many issues and challenges that this department had, I had grown to appreciate the "lot" that had been given to EVERY person involved...
From management...to the staff...
When they had a chance to stand behind someone...who supported then...things "got better!"
I realized however...that at this point in the effort...if that person left (the one whom they stood behind and depended upon)...the people and the department's performance would revert...
Another realization that I had was that if, by chance...the "simple volume" of the inputs, to the department improved...the true degradation would be masked...and the leadership would be able to claim sustained success...It is hard to describe...but a volume increase could look like success...what really mattered was the percentage of the volume processed successfully...if the percentage stayed at 50% and the volume processed increased...it would look like they are doing better...what this organization didn't realize was that the success rate needed to be improved!
This led me to the need for an additional performance measure...one which would show that the level was not simple getting the same percentage of more...and in the long run creating a customer service death spiral...
So I set out to develop that measure...and prepared for the resistance that its implementation may initiate...
I even started to empathize with the plight of "1/2 Marathon Man" (M and M which he was code named!)
His fixation on marathon running seemed to be a defense mechanism...a safe harbor in which he could psychologically drop anchor and avoid the gale-force winds of reality...it was his "happy place!"
He avoided reality at all costs and hid behind running whenever there was even the slightest chance that he would be see for what he thought he really was...incompetent...he would go back into the past...and revisit some personally amplified success...
He was not however incompetent...he had as many arms, legs, eyes and ears as I had...he could do it...but he lacked the knowledge to do it and was unwilling to admit that he lacked that knowledge (out of fear of being seen for what he really was) and also lacked the initiative to even, on the sly, to learn something...
So he sat in a vicious circle of lying and avoidance!
This was not a place that anyone should be in...and that made me sad...
As I thought about it deeper...it all came down to one thing...courage...
How do you instill courage in someone who totally lacks it...better yet...how do you get him to change?
AND if asked if he had courage...could come up with a thousand of self-disillusioning stories of bravery...that had no more depth and permanence than that of lipstick...
Interesting thoughts and insights...that I had little experience with...
I had near always worked with people who were courageous...and relished the thought of playing on the edge with them...
This was totally different for me...
As I thought...I realized that I may have to "walk the route" counter-clockwise for a while...
"Every-one's path in life is for them and them alone...but it doesn't have to be lonely! That is what a mentor is for..." I could hear his voice as if he resided right in my mind...
It was time for me to make a visit and see what he thought...
He was not far from me...only a few minutes drive..."taking a break from the fray" as he sometimes did...
He spent this time, "taking the time to be wise" as he put it...
...and selectively looking for his next experience...he sought experiences...never money...to him money was a side benefit...
I think that he kept me around because I safely expanded his experience horizon...much like a space probe visits other planets without the risk of harming human lives!
He could be living the challenges of his own path...and walking along side me...experiencing my plight...
Double the wisdom...half the risk...
It was nearing 10pm and I knew he would be in bed shortly...I called him and asked if I could bounce some thoughts off of him...tomorrow or the next day...
Much to my surprise, he said he would be over in a minute...
I quelled his enthusiasm and made arrangements to meet him for breakfast at his house...at 5:30am the very next morning...
I went to bed...knowing the morning would come way too quickly...
During the night...I was awakened every hour or so, by the phone ringing...but I refused to answer it...and no message were left...I knew who was calling...and it could wait until 5:30...
Before I could ring the doorbell, he opened the door...we greeted and he invited me in...
"Let me get you breakfast," he said as he led me to the kitchen.
We sat at his table and I immediately noticed three containers of milk placed in the center...
"Liquid diet" I thought...
"I bet you think this is breakfast, didn't you?" he inquired, "Breakfast will be delivered soon."
"I was contemplating milk last night"
"It is interesting"
"There are three different containers. One plain generic, one regular and one very decorated. But as they sit there you do not know if the milk inside is any good."
"That is until you open one and pour the milk out and smell it and taste it"
"What comes out of its mouth is what is on the inside...pure and simple."
"If good milk pours out...all of the milk on the inside is good. If your sample is bad, then all of what is on the inside is bad."
"The container has little to do with the real freshness of the milk. It may extend its usefulness for a little while, but the bottom-line is that the container has nothing to do with the value of the inside."
"We can take the generic containers and get some artist to turn it into a masterpiece, but the contents are either good or bad...fresh or sour..."
"But you just don't really know until what is on the inside pours out from the mouth of the container."
"People are like that too..."
I did not want to let on, but I was thinking that very thing about halfway through his discussion...
"There are generic and plain looking, people, and those who look VERY good."
"You have no idea what's inside them until they open their mouth and what is on the inside...pours out...in the form of words."
"If what comes out of their mouth is good, you can assume that what is on the inside is also good"
"If what comes out of their mouth is bad...you can expect that the entire inside is bad"
""As one listens and it doesn't take very long...a person can get a pretty good idea of what the inside of a person is like...from the words and the tones that they use..."
"This is not a learned skill, but in our very nature..."
"Some people have observed that babies are very good judges of character."
"Their vocabulary is rather limited...and I dare to say that for at least the first year of their life...nil"
"Yet by listening to people's tones, etc. they are able to judge the inside rather accurately...at least from their perspective...and what serves them"
"I contend that most people are even better judges of character...or at least could be...because they have added the meanings of what was said to how it was spoken..."
"If what pours out of a person is mean, abusive, trash, self-serving...then you know what the inside is like..."
"If what pours out from the inside is altruistic, selfless, kind and generous...then you know what the inside is like"
"It is the combination of words and tones (intent) that is a great indicator of whether the inside is sour or fresh..."
"Another thing that I was thinking about was that tasting one drink of sour milk from a container and then expecting anything but sour from it...is like doing the same things the same way...and expecting different outcomes...it is insanity"
"Hearing self-serving language from someone...and expecting them not to be...is insanity"
"No matter how jaded the words may be"
"Yes there is always a chance of deception...and that in and of itself is an indicator of the inside...deception...lies...this person is a liar...what is the inside like?"
"You have heard it...once a liar...always a liar..."
"The neat thing about people is that they act with integrity...a continuity of behaviour...staying true to what is inside of them...that is integrity..."
"If the inside is bad...they can act with integrity...and be consistently bad..."
"That is a benefit for those who have to be discerning..."
"You do not need a degree in psychology to be able to accurately judge a person's character...just listen to them..."
"Another cool thing is that you can know when the inside has changed...by noting when the person's language has changed"
"Moreover you can change a person's language by changing the inside"
"AND moreover...you can change a person's insides by disciplining their language..."
"It doesn't matter where you start...fixing it is as simple as just plain starting somewhere..."
"So how do you set a person on the road to change?" I asked
The doorbell rang and he scurried off to answer it.
After a few minutes he returned with a feast of a breakfast...and began dishing out enough food to carry this discussion on for days...
He sat back down after pouring the coffee and asked, " What thoughts did you want to bounce off of me?"
I responded, "Let's not leave your thoughts half finished...I want to hear this out to its conclusion"
"That is nice of you! Where did we leave off? Oh yes...what is the catalyst of change?"
"You eat and I'll talk..."
"It all has to do with person's value...I have a saying..."
"If it is a cause for shame...there is THE CASE for change..."
"What is important that the drivers for shame are in place and appropriate..."
"It is interesting...the greatest drivers of action and hunger, fear and guilt..."
"Drivers at a higher level are few and far between..."
"You can not change the individual without a change in ethics and morals..."
"That is the only place that you should focus your energy...it does really have to go back to what is on the inside...but your strategy may be to get the person to intellectually recognize that their words are immoral or unethical and have them strive to change them...or you may take the other path and get them to recognize that their ethics and morality is bad and they change that and there is a subsequent change in their speech"
"Clock-wise or counterclockwise...the path doesn't matter...you'll end up in the same place!"
"You always have to bring up our grocery shopping don't you?"
He laughed and continued,"Change requires a desire to change...lasting change requires a change in desires..."
"Anyone can effect change...but there are few that have effective change..."
"The difference is what that change is built upon..."
"The most important thing is...whenever change is needed...especially in an individual...you have to start and you have to stick with it..."
"The biggest mistake a person can make..."
"I know...is not starting..." I laughed.
"More coffee?"
"Now what were you thinking?"
"I have to admit...it seems like either I have forgotten or you answered it...I can not decide which...perhaps I will have some more coffee...and it will activate the cells that are still sleeping...I didn't have the heart to tell him that he answered my question with three cartons of milk!"
"I do know that I have to start something..."
From management...to the staff...
When they had a chance to stand behind someone...who supported then...things "got better!"
I realized however...that at this point in the effort...if that person left (the one whom they stood behind and depended upon)...the people and the department's performance would revert...
Another realization that I had was that if, by chance...the "simple volume" of the inputs, to the department improved...the true degradation would be masked...and the leadership would be able to claim sustained success...It is hard to describe...but a volume increase could look like success...what really mattered was the percentage of the volume processed successfully...if the percentage stayed at 50% and the volume processed increased...it would look like they are doing better...what this organization didn't realize was that the success rate needed to be improved!
This led me to the need for an additional performance measure...one which would show that the level was not simple getting the same percentage of more...and in the long run creating a customer service death spiral...
So I set out to develop that measure...and prepared for the resistance that its implementation may initiate...
I even started to empathize with the plight of "1/2 Marathon Man" (M and M which he was code named!)
His fixation on marathon running seemed to be a defense mechanism...a safe harbor in which he could psychologically drop anchor and avoid the gale-force winds of reality...it was his "happy place!"
He avoided reality at all costs and hid behind running whenever there was even the slightest chance that he would be see for what he thought he really was...incompetent...he would go back into the past...and revisit some personally amplified success...
He was not however incompetent...he had as many arms, legs, eyes and ears as I had...he could do it...but he lacked the knowledge to do it and was unwilling to admit that he lacked that knowledge (out of fear of being seen for what he really was) and also lacked the initiative to even, on the sly, to learn something...
So he sat in a vicious circle of lying and avoidance!
This was not a place that anyone should be in...and that made me sad...
As I thought about it deeper...it all came down to one thing...courage...
How do you instill courage in someone who totally lacks it...better yet...how do you get him to change?
AND if asked if he had courage...could come up with a thousand of self-disillusioning stories of bravery...that had no more depth and permanence than that of lipstick...
Interesting thoughts and insights...that I had little experience with...
I had near always worked with people who were courageous...and relished the thought of playing on the edge with them...
This was totally different for me...
As I thought...I realized that I may have to "walk the route" counter-clockwise for a while...
"Every-one's path in life is for them and them alone...but it doesn't have to be lonely! That is what a mentor is for..." I could hear his voice as if he resided right in my mind...
It was time for me to make a visit and see what he thought...
He was not far from me...only a few minutes drive..."taking a break from the fray" as he sometimes did...
He spent this time, "taking the time to be wise" as he put it...
...and selectively looking for his next experience...he sought experiences...never money...to him money was a side benefit...
I think that he kept me around because I safely expanded his experience horizon...much like a space probe visits other planets without the risk of harming human lives!
He could be living the challenges of his own path...and walking along side me...experiencing my plight...
Double the wisdom...half the risk...
It was nearing 10pm and I knew he would be in bed shortly...I called him and asked if I could bounce some thoughts off of him...tomorrow or the next day...
Much to my surprise, he said he would be over in a minute...
I quelled his enthusiasm and made arrangements to meet him for breakfast at his house...at 5:30am the very next morning...
I went to bed...knowing the morning would come way too quickly...
During the night...I was awakened every hour or so, by the phone ringing...but I refused to answer it...and no message were left...I knew who was calling...and it could wait until 5:30...
Before I could ring the doorbell, he opened the door...we greeted and he invited me in...
"Let me get you breakfast," he said as he led me to the kitchen.
We sat at his table and I immediately noticed three containers of milk placed in the center...
"Liquid diet" I thought...
"I bet you think this is breakfast, didn't you?" he inquired, "Breakfast will be delivered soon."
"I was contemplating milk last night"
"It is interesting"
"There are three different containers. One plain generic, one regular and one very decorated. But as they sit there you do not know if the milk inside is any good."
"That is until you open one and pour the milk out and smell it and taste it"
"What comes out of its mouth is what is on the inside...pure and simple."
"If good milk pours out...all of the milk on the inside is good. If your sample is bad, then all of what is on the inside is bad."
"The container has little to do with the real freshness of the milk. It may extend its usefulness for a little while, but the bottom-line is that the container has nothing to do with the value of the inside."
"We can take the generic containers and get some artist to turn it into a masterpiece, but the contents are either good or bad...fresh or sour..."
"But you just don't really know until what is on the inside pours out from the mouth of the container."
"People are like that too..."
I did not want to let on, but I was thinking that very thing about halfway through his discussion...
"There are generic and plain looking, people, and those who look VERY good."
"You have no idea what's inside them until they open their mouth and what is on the inside...pours out...in the form of words."
"If what comes out of their mouth is good, you can assume that what is on the inside is also good"
"If what comes out of their mouth is bad...you can expect that the entire inside is bad"
""As one listens and it doesn't take very long...a person can get a pretty good idea of what the inside of a person is like...from the words and the tones that they use..."
"This is not a learned skill, but in our very nature..."
"Some people have observed that babies are very good judges of character."
"Their vocabulary is rather limited...and I dare to say that for at least the first year of their life...nil"
"Yet by listening to people's tones, etc. they are able to judge the inside rather accurately...at least from their perspective...and what serves them"
"I contend that most people are even better judges of character...or at least could be...because they have added the meanings of what was said to how it was spoken..."
"If what pours out of a person is mean, abusive, trash, self-serving...then you know what the inside is like..."
"If what pours out from the inside is altruistic, selfless, kind and generous...then you know what the inside is like"
"It is the combination of words and tones (intent) that is a great indicator of whether the inside is sour or fresh..."
"Another thing that I was thinking about was that tasting one drink of sour milk from a container and then expecting anything but sour from it...is like doing the same things the same way...and expecting different outcomes...it is insanity"
"Hearing self-serving language from someone...and expecting them not to be...is insanity"
"No matter how jaded the words may be"
"Yes there is always a chance of deception...and that in and of itself is an indicator of the inside...deception...lies...this person is a liar...what is the inside like?"
"You have heard it...once a liar...always a liar..."
"The neat thing about people is that they act with integrity...a continuity of behaviour...staying true to what is inside of them...that is integrity..."
"If the inside is bad...they can act with integrity...and be consistently bad..."
"That is a benefit for those who have to be discerning..."
"You do not need a degree in psychology to be able to accurately judge a person's character...just listen to them..."
"Another cool thing is that you can know when the inside has changed...by noting when the person's language has changed"
"Moreover you can change a person's language by changing the inside"
"AND moreover...you can change a person's insides by disciplining their language..."
"It doesn't matter where you start...fixing it is as simple as just plain starting somewhere..."
"So how do you set a person on the road to change?" I asked
The doorbell rang and he scurried off to answer it.
After a few minutes he returned with a feast of a breakfast...and began dishing out enough food to carry this discussion on for days...
He sat back down after pouring the coffee and asked, " What thoughts did you want to bounce off of me?"
I responded, "Let's not leave your thoughts half finished...I want to hear this out to its conclusion"
"That is nice of you! Where did we leave off? Oh yes...what is the catalyst of change?"
"You eat and I'll talk..."
"It all has to do with person's value...I have a saying..."
"If it is a cause for shame...there is THE CASE for change..."
"What is important that the drivers for shame are in place and appropriate..."
"It is interesting...the greatest drivers of action and hunger, fear and guilt..."
"Drivers at a higher level are few and far between..."
"You can not change the individual without a change in ethics and morals..."
"That is the only place that you should focus your energy...it does really have to go back to what is on the inside...but your strategy may be to get the person to intellectually recognize that their words are immoral or unethical and have them strive to change them...or you may take the other path and get them to recognize that their ethics and morality is bad and they change that and there is a subsequent change in their speech"
"Clock-wise or counterclockwise...the path doesn't matter...you'll end up in the same place!"
"You always have to bring up our grocery shopping don't you?"
He laughed and continued,"Change requires a desire to change...lasting change requires a change in desires..."
"Anyone can effect change...but there are few that have effective change..."
"The difference is what that change is built upon..."
"The most important thing is...whenever change is needed...especially in an individual...you have to start and you have to stick with it..."
"The biggest mistake a person can make..."
"I know...is not starting..." I laughed.
"More coffee?"
"Now what were you thinking?"
"I have to admit...it seems like either I have forgotten or you answered it...I can not decide which...perhaps I will have some more coffee...and it will activate the cells that are still sleeping...I didn't have the heart to tell him that he answered my question with three cartons of milk!"
"I do know that I have to start something..."
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