Passion and Capability, Chapter 7

Over the few weeks that I had worked to permanently solve the many issues and challenges that this department had, I had grown to appreciate the "lot" that had been given to EVERY person involved...

From management...to the staff...

When they had a chance to stand behind someone...who supported then...things "got better!"

I realized however...that at this point in the effort...if that person left (the one whom they stood behind and depended upon)...the people and the department's performance would revert...

Another realization that I had was that if, by chance...the "simple volume" of the inputs, to the department improved...the true degradation would be masked...and the leadership would be able to claim sustained success...It is hard to describe...but a volume increase could look like success...what really mattered was the percentage of the volume processed successfully...if the percentage stayed at 50% and the volume processed increased...it would look like they are doing better...what this organization didn't realize was that the success rate needed to be improved!

This led me to the need for an additional performance measure...one which would show that the level was not simple getting the same percentage of more...and in the long run creating a customer service death spiral...

So I set out to develop that measure...and prepared for the resistance that its implementation may initiate...

I even started to empathize with the plight of "1/2 Marathon Man" (M and M which he was code named!)

His fixation on marathon running seemed to be a defense mechanism...a safe harbor in which he could psychologically drop anchor and avoid the gale-force winds of reality...it was his "happy place!"

He avoided reality at all costs and hid behind running whenever there was even the slightest chance that he would be see for what he thought he really was...incompetent...he would go back into the past...and revisit some personally amplified success...

He was not however incompetent...he had as many arms, legs, eyes and ears as I had...he could do it...but he lacked the knowledge to do it and was unwilling to admit that he lacked that knowledge (out of fear of being seen for what he really was) and also lacked the initiative to even, on the sly, to learn something...

So he sat in a vicious circle of lying and avoidance!

This was not a place that anyone should be in...and that made me sad...

As I thought about it deeper...it all came down to one thing...courage...

How do you instill courage in someone who totally lacks it...better yet...how do you get him to change?

AND if asked if he had courage...could come up with a thousand of self-disillusioning stories of bravery...that had no more depth and permanence than that of lipstick...

Interesting thoughts and insights...that I had little experience with...

I had near always worked with people who were courageous...and relished the thought of playing on the edge with them...

This was totally different for me...

As I thought...I realized that I may have to "walk the route" counter-clockwise for a while...

"Every-one's path in life is for them and them alone...but it doesn't have to be lonely!  That is what a mentor is for..."  I could hear his voice as if he resided right in my mind...

It was time for me to make a visit and see what he thought...

He was not far from me...only a few minutes drive..."taking a break from the fray" as he sometimes did...

He spent this time, "taking the time to be wise" as he put it...

...and selectively looking for his next experience...he sought experiences...never money...to him money was a side benefit...

I think that he kept me around because I safely expanded his experience horizon...much like a space probe visits other planets without the risk of harming human lives!

He could be living the challenges of his own path...and walking along side me...experiencing my plight...

Double the wisdom...half the risk...

It was nearing 10pm and I knew he would be in bed shortly...I called him and asked if I could bounce some thoughts off of him...tomorrow or the next day...

Much to my surprise, he said he would be over in a minute...

I quelled his enthusiasm and made arrangements to meet him for breakfast at his house...at 5:30am the very next morning...

I went to bed...knowing the morning would come way too quickly...

During the night...I was awakened every hour or so, by the phone ringing...but I refused to answer it...and no message were left...I knew who was calling...and it could wait until 5:30...

Before I could ring the doorbell, he opened the door...we greeted and he invited me in...

"Let me get you breakfast," he said as he led me to the kitchen.

We sat at his table and I immediately noticed three containers of milk placed in the center...

"Liquid diet" I thought...

"I bet you think this is breakfast, didn't you?" he inquired, "Breakfast will be delivered soon."

"I was contemplating milk last night"

"It is interesting"

"There are three different containers.  One plain generic, one regular and one very decorated.  But as they sit there you do not know if the milk inside is any good."

"That is until you open one and pour the milk out and smell it and taste it"

"What comes out of its mouth is what is on the inside...pure and simple."

"If good milk pours out...all of the milk on the inside is good.  If your sample is bad, then all of what is on the inside is bad."

"The container has little to do with the real freshness of the milk.  It may extend its usefulness for a little while, but the bottom-line is that the container has nothing to do with the value of the inside."

"We can take the generic containers and get some artist to turn it into a masterpiece, but the contents are either good or bad...fresh or sour..."

"But you just don't really know until what is on the inside pours out from the mouth of the container."

"People are like that too..."

I did not want to let on, but I was thinking that very thing about halfway through his discussion...

"There are generic and plain looking, people, and those who look VERY good."

"You have no idea what's inside them until they open their mouth and what is on the inside...pours out...in the form of words."

"If what comes out of their mouth is good, you can assume that what is on the inside is also good"

"If what comes out of their mouth is bad...you can expect that the entire inside is bad"

""As one listens and it doesn't take very long...a person can get a pretty good idea of what the inside of a person is like...from the words and the tones that they use..."

"This is not a learned skill, but in our very nature..."

"Some people have observed that babies are very good judges of character."

"Their vocabulary is rather limited...and I dare to say that for at least the first year of their life...nil"

"Yet by listening to people's tones, etc. they are able to judge the inside rather accurately...at least from their perspective...and what serves them"

"I contend that most people are even better judges of character...or at least could be...because they have added the meanings of what was said to how it was spoken..."

"If what pours out of a person is mean, abusive, trash, self-serving...then you know what the inside is like..."

"If what pours out from the inside is altruistic, selfless, kind and generous...then you know what the inside is like"

"It is the combination of words and tones (intent) that is a great indicator of whether the inside is sour or fresh..."

"Another thing that I was thinking about was that tasting one drink of sour milk from a container and then expecting anything but sour from it...is like doing the same things the same way...and expecting different outcomes...it is insanity"

"Hearing self-serving language from someone...and expecting them not to be...is insanity"

"No matter how jaded the words may be"

"Yes there is always a chance of deception...and that in and of itself is an indicator of the inside...deception...lies...this person is a liar...what is the inside like?"

"You have heard it...once a liar...always a liar..."

"The neat thing about people is that they act with integrity...a continuity of behaviour...staying true to what is inside of them...that is integrity..."

"If the inside is bad...they can act with integrity...and be consistently bad..."

"That is a benefit for those who have to be discerning..."

"You do not need a degree in psychology to be able to accurately judge a person's character...just listen to them..."

"Another cool thing is that you can know when the inside has changed...by noting when the person's language has changed"

"Moreover you can change a person's language by changing the inside"

"AND moreover...you can change a person's insides by disciplining their language..."

"It doesn't matter where you start...fixing it is as simple as just plain starting somewhere..."

"So how do you set a person on the road to change?" I asked

The doorbell rang and he scurried off to answer it.

After a few minutes he returned with a feast of a breakfast...and began dishing out enough food to carry this discussion on for days...

He sat back down after pouring the coffee and asked, " What thoughts did you want to bounce off of me?"

I responded, "Let's not leave your thoughts half finished...I want to hear this out to its conclusion"

"That is nice of you!  Where did we leave off?  Oh yes...what is the catalyst of change?"

"You eat and I'll talk..."

"It all has to do with person's value...I have a saying..."

"If it is a cause for shame...there is THE CASE for change..."

"What is important that the drivers for shame are in  place and appropriate..."

"It is interesting...the greatest drivers of action and hunger, fear and guilt..."

"Drivers at a higher level are few and far between..."

"You can not change the individual without a change in ethics and morals..."

"That is the only place that you should focus your energy...it does really have to go back to what is on the inside...but your strategy may be to get the person to intellectually recognize that their words are immoral or unethical and have them strive to change them...or you may take the other path and get them to recognize that their ethics and morality is bad and they change that and there is a subsequent change in their speech"

"Clock-wise or counterclockwise...the path doesn't matter...you'll end up in the same place!"

"You always have to bring up our grocery shopping don't you?"

He laughed and continued,"Change requires a desire to change...lasting change requires a change in desires..."

"Anyone can effect change...but there are few that have effective change..."

"The difference is what that change is built upon..."

"The most important thing is...whenever change is needed...especially in an individual...you have to start and you have to stick with it..."

"The biggest mistake a person can make..."

"I know...is not starting..." I laughed.

"More coffee?"

"Now what were you thinking?"

"I have to admit...it seems like either I have forgotten or you answered it...I can not decide which...perhaps I will have some more coffee...and it will activate the cells that are still sleeping...I didn't have the heart to tell him that he answered my question with three cartons of milk!"

"I do know that I have to start something..."