I had a decision to make and I needed his advice!
Going over the many years that I have known him, I reveled over the constant change in the superficial, defining elements of our relationship...
We started as two people assigned to work together on solving an impossible orgainzational riddle...
Then he became my mentor...
Then we were peers...
and he was my mentor...
Then he was my superior...
and he was my mentor...
then we were just friends...
and he was my mentor...
Then I was his superior...
and he was my mentor...
Over the course of our relationship one aspect did change...it, in fact, grew...it was the respect that we had for eachother's perspective...
I believe that soon after we "formally" agreed upon the mentoring relationship, it became mutual mentoring...
He once told me that the reason that he asked to mentor me...was more that he needed a mentor... and that he respected my advice and guidence....and that his meager offerings were payment for a greater gift...that he received from me!
I wrote that off as "his rum" talking...but I never forgot that!
If just an iota of that sentence were true...it was a great honor and a great responsibility...
For all I knew...it could have been part of his plan and way of teaching me...or simply a way to keep me around...I didn't care...
"So...do you write this play...produce it...or...direct it?" he said with that sly smile...
He knew that the company had given me a set of choices...he couldn't hide it!
"I hate the fact that although you work for me...they talk with you more than me..." I responded...
"WE BOTH work for them...and there is nothing better than having two perspectives isn't there?" he admonished...
"I do not work for you! I work with you! I taught you that lesson a long time ago! If you ever have that feeling with anyone...that is...that they work for you...IMMEDIATELY RESIGN YOUR POSITION!" he reprimanded..."How could you be so arrogant and condescending?" "Only the most infantile and deluded managers hold on to that Victorian concept of management!"
He was right...he never really worked for me...for all I really knew...he was doing what he was doing as a test of me! When he was my boss...I worked with him...not for him! I knew the feeling...but I let the perception of my position within the hierarchy get to me for a brief moment! I never forgot that brief lesson...and I now shake my head in disbelief when I watch the former "high school towel boys, who are trying to prove someting ," pull rank on the undeserving!
I have watched many leaders let their egos get in the way of success...by that simple phrase...and belief! It can be likened to putting themselves on equal par with God...almost every religion has a story about some arrogant person or being, who attempted to "take the throne" and we all know (well many) what happened to him or her!
All that aside...There was also one absolute constant in our relationship...implicit trust and loyalty...
I could trust him to watch out for my well being, over his personal interests and aspirations...in fact, he looked out for me so well...that I never had to "watch my back." I returned the favor and he never had to look out for himself! I often thought that if I had to "give it all up" for him...I would...and I knew he would do the same...
I remember a time when that loyalty was tested...and I stood my ground! I pulled out my "mobile resignation" and signed it! The organization immediately recanted...knowing that if he left...and I left...our teams would follow...(I hoped so!)...and they couldn't aford that...(I later found out that most of my team and his team lacked the guts to back us up...how sad! What users! Will I ever learn?)
That characteristic in any realtionship is a rarity. "Most people are ultimately self-serving and would cut your throat, at the first opportunity...rather than get a razor burn..." he would often say. Most are less than "fair weather friends"...a little cloud casts a shadow nearby and they'll turn and run!"
It was sad...he was right! Most of the people that I thought that I could implicitly trust turned out to be hollow plaster mannequins! I love that mental image...a seemingly hard exterior...but in reality...crumbly...and ...hollow...nothing of substance beyond that weak shell!
I committed to myself to NEVER to be like that! An unwritten but driving mission...perhaps better stated...a standard of personal performance...within my mission...I have learned to abhor those type of people...
I could write for the rest of my life about how appalling those kind of people are...and how they are a drain on the earth's precious resources and how they are even a waste of the air that they breath, convert to smoke and blow up innocent people's ...OK...I have to stop...even giving them recognition is a waste!
I once heard that the opposite of love is not hate...it is indifference...
It is true...the worse thing that you can do to these kind of people is not to hate them...but become indifferent to their existence! Do not give them the pleasure of recognition or confirm their value through a reaction...do not recognize their life...
"If a tree falls in the woods...and noone hears it...there is no sound!" "If a person is like that...do not recognize their existence...and give them life! Poor logic...but his point was always well made!
In that light...I say...
...
...
...
...
NOTHING!
I am so thankful that I had someone enter my life that modeled true loyal behavior and I was given numerous chances to prove that I was capable of also being truely loyal and trustworthy...
"So what are you going to do? You have three opportunities in front of you...you can run this specific location...you can direct the overall organizational strategy...or you can oversee the finances."
"Just like a movie! the Writer, Director, or Producer!"
"What do you think?" I asked him...
"That is a question that you and you alone have to answer...I will never tell you what direction you should choose! The path must be your decision..."
"A real mentor would never give you that advice...A real friend would not...the only time I would even hint at a path is if I saw it leading to your demise!"
"A real mentor? That is pretty egotistical of you!" I taunted...but I heard him...
...and he heard me!
"Egotistical? Let's talk about egos for a bit..."
As soon as I heard that and saw his sly smile, I knew that I had been blindfolded and lead directly into a trap!
"There are two kinds of egos...good ones and bad ones..."
"No...let me say that differently...there are two kinds of egos...those that are deserved and those that are not..."
I am using ego and confidence in the same context at this point in the discussion...
Each one of us has an ego...some self-image that we believe in and protect...
Some people have a justified ego and others do not...the size of the populations of each group is of no consequence to our thinking right now...but you can guess, and probably with accuracy, which group holds the greatetr number of people...
All egos are built...we may believe that some people are born with HUGE egos...but I have found that not to be the case...this is an entirely different discussion that we'll take up over "my rum" some evening...
Egos are necessery for one to be successful...but there must be substance behind what you believe in yourself...some of that belief, in fact most of it, should be built on prior success. It does not have to be experience on the path that you are walking...but it needs to hold definite lines of similarities.
A highly successful kidney surgeon has an ego related to kidney surgery...he may or may not be justified in his ego related to surgery alone however...he could be an absolute novice (having an unjustified ego) in other surgeries however...like brain surgery...but could be justified on a simple surgery like an appendectomy. There are right uses of one's ego and bad!
Egos should be guarded, because they are truely frail creatures...they must be constantly fed...or they will whither and die...they must be constantly analyzed...asking questions of it like has the world passed me up?
Never allow your past experience feed an ego for too long...because memories lose their nutirtional value quickly...yes...they have a shelf life...and an expiration date!
Although this sounds like an extreme psychological problem...everyone has multiple egos...unless of course he or she is so highly specialized that they only have one thing that they do...
But let's think about it for a moment...
This is why I am using ego and confidence in the same context...
You have a certain ego for public speaking...
another for driving in traffic...
another for leading people...
another your current career path...
another for the paths that you are contemplating taking...
You have an ego for math, science, cooking, fixing your car...
The list is nearly infinite...
Writers have an ego related to their ability to put words on paper...
Producers on gathering and justifying financial support...
Directors on taking words from paper and putting them into the mouths of people and then capturing them on film...
Each successful one knows that they can do a great job, in a way that noone else can!
Over time some writers learn how directors convert those words...and become great directors...and on and on...
That is where you are at...you are at a crossroad...and need to assess what kind of ego problem you have!
Do you have the right kind...? Which means are you warranted in choosing another path...
...or...
Do you have an inflated ego...filled with air and lacking any substance...?
Have you deluded yourself into believing that you are capable of things that you are not...
Has your delusion become so real to yourself that you have others believing it too?
The bottom-line of this discussion is for you to GET REAL!
The beauty of where you are standing at this juncture in your life is that you have an ego finely tuned to one of the choices...it is highly probably that the other paths may not be the best fit!
That is no miracle...the fact of the matter is...that at any point in your life...you have that set of choices...it usually doesn't become apparent until the choice is BIG! They are always there, to those who are astute enough to see them...
Another gift of this world is that very few things are really constant...you can use your choices to feed the other egos and prepare you for the "jump" from one path to another...
Just do not jump too soon...sometimes the gap is too large for you to traverse it...then guess what happens?
...FAILURE...
Where is your ego justified...where does it have substance and lacks delusion?
You have all three egos...
One of them is right...the other two have some growing up to do!
"One of them is the Right ego problem to have... "
"The other two are not and they lower you to the level of of the hoard of rabid lemmings!"
With that...he stopped talking...
I thought for just a moment...and realized that he had told me which job that he thought I should take...and I did! Not because he told me...but because he confirmed what I believed...
I have never regretted...his advice!
and more importantly...
His loyalty...
Wednesday, November 25, 2009
Monday, November 23, 2009
Something Big!
I have to admit that I loved it when he is wrong!
Not that I have a demented streak hidden deep within me...although some may accuse me of that because of my appreciation for the humor that I find, in the absurdity of many human behaviors...
It was not that he was ever wrong in a bad way...he normally under-estimated the outcome...
He was known for that...and everyone that knew him...knew that whereever he went or whatever he did...things got better...most often better than everyone...even he ever expected...that is a nice position to be in...
When he estimated "good"...it turned out GREAT!
Many would think that..but he was not a pessimist...in fact...just the opposite!
Everything he set out to do...became better...REALLY BETTER...I think that what he truely underestimated was not his efforts...but his own impact and ability to make change...
To the outside...he was humble and arrogant at the same time...
I believed that those simultaneous personality traits played into his estimating ability...
"I need to take him to a casino when he is feeling lucky" I thought, "we'll walk out millionaires!"
Despite all of the humbleness...to most people, he was an ominous being and well respected...
Yet he never took that seriously...in fact he never took himself seriously...or at least it appeared that way!
For those who were within "his circle," he was light and humorous...almost a clown...or a crazy professor...but deep down there was a constant and pointed seriousness...
...it was just that the outside world can NEVER be allowed to see that..."They may get the wrong message!" he would say...
...That single characteristic was only seen by the closest of those within his circle...
For the rest, the consistency of his atitude was amazing...he responded to set-backs and victories exactly the same...
While working...his pace was always the same...
When relaxing...he was the same...
I chalked all of that consistency up to either to experience and personal control or mood altering drugs! (actually not the latter! I used that to get a rise out of him.)
I was so excited to see that he had AGAIN under-estimated the length of his hiatus between assignments!
He had predicted that he had a "couple of months" to wrap up his loose ends...in fact his absence was only two weeks!
I heard the entry door to our offices slam and caught a glimpse of him carrying his small box of personal items back to his vacant office...
I smiled and realized that they never removed his nameplate from the door! They always do that immediately when "someone leaves"...I should have known! I am so narrow and literal sometimes! I have to be more observant and think in a broader context...I reminded myself!
In his normal way...everything that he "needed to wrap-up" was done in one week...he worked with a focused intensity...and sense of urgency...got them done...and then spent the next week depleting his rum reserves...which I somehow knew would never get to empty!
I hurriedly finished my daily routines and left my office to welcome him back...and tell him that he was wrong about how long he was going to be gone...and that it was really great to have him back!
I was about halfway to his office, in the hall, when he too walked out of his office and turned toward me...
His pace was far different from his normal saunter...it was a rushed and his usual smile was missing...and the intensity that I only saw in his eyes at offsite locations...was there...
It was a bit alarming...
More alarming was what happened when the distance became feet rather than yards...
"Hey boss! How are you doing today?" he congenially said.
"Great!" I replied...as I stopped...
and he kept walking...right past me!
"HEY!" I responded...
He immediately came to a stop...having realized that he had broken his normal character...he turn back and then I saw the "old him!"
"We'll talk later" he said in a reassuring voice, "Got to be busy...you never know who the next person to judge your performance is going to be..."
We laughed for a brief moment...at his words of wisdom...and he went on his way...
"Whew!" I responded..."He can't help himself...he always has some tidbit of wisdom to share!"
It was blatantly apparent that he was on a mission...a BIG mission...I couldn't wait to hear all about it!
The next six hours were the longest six hours that I ever lived through! I must have checked his office thirty or more times, it was as empty as it was before he returned and he was not sitting in his normal position, looking out the window...and contemplating great and brilliant things...
I had no idea where he disappeared to!
My office was located between most of the offices and the rest of the building...not many comings and goings occurred, without me being aware of them...I liked it that way...in fact, I chose that office just for that reason!
Many think that the "corner office" is the most important one...but during one conversation, we found the truth...corners are where seldom used tools are stored...so that they do not get in the way! Stay out of the corner...unless you have nothing of value to contribute to the moment...was our conclusion!
Upon his return, he took on a new character trait...he became a ghost! Everyone knew he was there...just not visable...almost paranormal!
I was about to give up on him for the day...when I heard the front door slam again and he reappeared in the hallway...I figured that he would scuttle back to his office to wrap up the day with his journal writing...but instead he walked straight down the hall, to my office...
I tried not to let on that I had been secretly waiting for him and that saw him. I made believe that I was intensely working...
He stood in the doorway for a few moments...and then said, "Hey boss...sorry about this morning...I had so many things to get moving...things happened quicker than the company or I anticipated..."
"I know...I wanted to point out that you were wrong again...and we are working together in weeks rather than the months you anticipated!" I said...and he just grinned...
"What brings you back so soon?" I inquired...
"It will be announced in the next couple of days...I am sworn to secrecy..." he replied...
Recognizing that this was my queue to confirm his confidence to prying ears, in a voice loud enough for all to hear...and to invite him to eat, I responded, "I will respect your commitment and I won't ask that again...how about we go out to dinner?"
"I appreciate that'" he replied, "How about a rain check on the dinner invite?"
With that he disappeared!
I was taken aback! This never happened in all of the time that I knew him! SOMETHING BIG IS UP!
I went home and after my domestic responsibilities, retired...and fell asleep reflecting on the days events...
I was startled back into consciousness, by the ringing of my bedside phone...as I searched around to put a stop to the noise...I also looked at the clock and saw that it was 3:07am...
I hope that it is a wrong number and the caller was someone that does not know me...because I do not want anyone who knows me think that I am capable of the swear words I was about to use...
But before I could start...I heard his voice..."Did I wake you up?"
"Ahhhhh...Yes!" I responded...
"I just wanted to apologize for my behavior today...it kept me up...now I can go to sleep..."
"Oh...OK...no problem," I confirmed...half asleep..."Good night!"
"Good night!" he said...sounding very relieved!
"Do you want to meet for breakfast?" I asked...
"Can't...got to go in early and get to work..." he responded...
"OK...see you sometime tomorrow...Great dreams!" and with that I hung up and tried to go back to my dreams...
...and tried...
...and tried....
...and tried!
It became apparent to me that something as menial as a simple change in a person's behavior can keep me from my second most favorite thing...sleep!
I finally fell back into unconsciouness shortly before the alarm was set to go off!
...
...
As I pulled into my parking spot I noticed that I his car was not there...yet...
I spent most of the day sifting through my email, looking for the announcement...
Every note caused me to jump, look and frown in disappointment.
I also waited for him to appear in my doorway...
I had seen that his car was in its spot...but he was not!
My PC made its familar beep, announcing the arrival of another disappointing email and almost the same time that the PC make that noise...he appeared at my door...
Do I turn and check the message or do I focus on my visitor...?
I decided that the email could wait! Unless the network AND my PC were destroyed by some catestrophe...that email would be there...the ghost would not!
"It is nice to have you back in the land of the living..." I said as a welcome...
"It is nice to be back" he cordially responded...
He scanned me as if he were looking for something...which made me rather uncomfortable...
Without my invitation he entered my office and sat down in a chair directly in front of my desk...normally he sat at the table out of the line of sight from peering eyes in the hallway...
"Have you read the announcement?" He asked
"No...I haven't received it yet..." I responded
"Look" he demanded...
And sure enough it was the one that just arrived...
I read it and was not surprised...
"So they are reorganizing again...that happens on a regular basis..."
"So my boss is moving up...that is great news...For him..."
"That it is...he'll do really well in his new position" he observed..."They asked my about that and I told them I thought that he would..."
"You know that I have always told the company that you would be good..."
"I hope that you estimating ability with me is as good as the rest of your estimations!"
"Of all of my estimations...this is one of the few that I can say will definitely exceed my calculations...but I have a reputation to uphold..."
"Don't let me down...OK?"
"Never...why would you say that?"
"Although the announcement indcated a few changes...I suspected that he was going to run the place until they could find a replacement...which often takes months...that was cool...we can make many of the changes we always dreamed of...before the next guy gets in...and then it would be up to him to carry them through..."
"So what are we going to with this opportunity that is afforded us?" I asked...
"What do you want to do?" He asked in reply..."It's your show for the next 6 months!They asked me to tell you that! I work for you now!"
"I knew that I had a month at most and he had told me that with the first two words out of his mouth! If I had only listened...I would have known days ago!"
"...I am so narrow and literal sometimes! I have to be more observant and think in a broader context...I reminded myself! Some lessons are harder to learn than others!
Not that I have a demented streak hidden deep within me...although some may accuse me of that because of my appreciation for the humor that I find, in the absurdity of many human behaviors...
It was not that he was ever wrong in a bad way...he normally under-estimated the outcome...
He was known for that...and everyone that knew him...knew that whereever he went or whatever he did...things got better...most often better than everyone...even he ever expected...that is a nice position to be in...
When he estimated "good"...it turned out GREAT!
Many would think that..but he was not a pessimist...in fact...just the opposite!
Everything he set out to do...became better...REALLY BETTER...I think that what he truely underestimated was not his efforts...but his own impact and ability to make change...
To the outside...he was humble and arrogant at the same time...
I believed that those simultaneous personality traits played into his estimating ability...
"I need to take him to a casino when he is feeling lucky" I thought, "we'll walk out millionaires!"
Despite all of the humbleness...to most people, he was an ominous being and well respected...
Yet he never took that seriously...in fact he never took himself seriously...or at least it appeared that way!
For those who were within "his circle," he was light and humorous...almost a clown...or a crazy professor...but deep down there was a constant and pointed seriousness...
...it was just that the outside world can NEVER be allowed to see that..."They may get the wrong message!" he would say...
...That single characteristic was only seen by the closest of those within his circle...
For the rest, the consistency of his atitude was amazing...he responded to set-backs and victories exactly the same...
While working...his pace was always the same...
When relaxing...he was the same...
I chalked all of that consistency up to either to experience and personal control or mood altering drugs! (actually not the latter! I used that to get a rise out of him.)
I was so excited to see that he had AGAIN under-estimated the length of his hiatus between assignments!
He had predicted that he had a "couple of months" to wrap up his loose ends...in fact his absence was only two weeks!
I heard the entry door to our offices slam and caught a glimpse of him carrying his small box of personal items back to his vacant office...
I smiled and realized that they never removed his nameplate from the door! They always do that immediately when "someone leaves"...I should have known! I am so narrow and literal sometimes! I have to be more observant and think in a broader context...I reminded myself!
In his normal way...everything that he "needed to wrap-up" was done in one week...he worked with a focused intensity...and sense of urgency...got them done...and then spent the next week depleting his rum reserves...which I somehow knew would never get to empty!
I hurriedly finished my daily routines and left my office to welcome him back...and tell him that he was wrong about how long he was going to be gone...and that it was really great to have him back!
I was about halfway to his office, in the hall, when he too walked out of his office and turned toward me...
His pace was far different from his normal saunter...it was a rushed and his usual smile was missing...and the intensity that I only saw in his eyes at offsite locations...was there...
It was a bit alarming...
More alarming was what happened when the distance became feet rather than yards...
"Hey boss! How are you doing today?" he congenially said.
"Great!" I replied...as I stopped...
and he kept walking...right past me!
"HEY!" I responded...
He immediately came to a stop...having realized that he had broken his normal character...he turn back and then I saw the "old him!"
"We'll talk later" he said in a reassuring voice, "Got to be busy...you never know who the next person to judge your performance is going to be..."
We laughed for a brief moment...at his words of wisdom...and he went on his way...
"Whew!" I responded..."He can't help himself...he always has some tidbit of wisdom to share!"
It was blatantly apparent that he was on a mission...a BIG mission...I couldn't wait to hear all about it!
The next six hours were the longest six hours that I ever lived through! I must have checked his office thirty or more times, it was as empty as it was before he returned and he was not sitting in his normal position, looking out the window...and contemplating great and brilliant things...
I had no idea where he disappeared to!
My office was located between most of the offices and the rest of the building...not many comings and goings occurred, without me being aware of them...I liked it that way...in fact, I chose that office just for that reason!
Many think that the "corner office" is the most important one...but during one conversation, we found the truth...corners are where seldom used tools are stored...so that they do not get in the way! Stay out of the corner...unless you have nothing of value to contribute to the moment...was our conclusion!
Upon his return, he took on a new character trait...he became a ghost! Everyone knew he was there...just not visable...almost paranormal!
I was about to give up on him for the day...when I heard the front door slam again and he reappeared in the hallway...I figured that he would scuttle back to his office to wrap up the day with his journal writing...but instead he walked straight down the hall, to my office...
I tried not to let on that I had been secretly waiting for him and that saw him. I made believe that I was intensely working...
He stood in the doorway for a few moments...and then said, "Hey boss...sorry about this morning...I had so many things to get moving...things happened quicker than the company or I anticipated..."
"I know...I wanted to point out that you were wrong again...and we are working together in weeks rather than the months you anticipated!" I said...and he just grinned...
"What brings you back so soon?" I inquired...
"It will be announced in the next couple of days...I am sworn to secrecy..." he replied...
Recognizing that this was my queue to confirm his confidence to prying ears, in a voice loud enough for all to hear...and to invite him to eat, I responded, "I will respect your commitment and I won't ask that again...how about we go out to dinner?"
"I appreciate that'" he replied, "How about a rain check on the dinner invite?"
With that he disappeared!
I was taken aback! This never happened in all of the time that I knew him! SOMETHING BIG IS UP!
I went home and after my domestic responsibilities, retired...and fell asleep reflecting on the days events...
I was startled back into consciousness, by the ringing of my bedside phone...as I searched around to put a stop to the noise...I also looked at the clock and saw that it was 3:07am...
I hope that it is a wrong number and the caller was someone that does not know me...because I do not want anyone who knows me think that I am capable of the swear words I was about to use...
But before I could start...I heard his voice..."Did I wake you up?"
"Ahhhhh...Yes!" I responded...
"I just wanted to apologize for my behavior today...it kept me up...now I can go to sleep..."
"Oh...OK...no problem," I confirmed...half asleep..."Good night!"
"Good night!" he said...sounding very relieved!
"Do you want to meet for breakfast?" I asked...
"Can't...got to go in early and get to work..." he responded...
"OK...see you sometime tomorrow...Great dreams!" and with that I hung up and tried to go back to my dreams...
...and tried...
...and tried....
...and tried!
It became apparent to me that something as menial as a simple change in a person's behavior can keep me from my second most favorite thing...sleep!
I finally fell back into unconsciouness shortly before the alarm was set to go off!
...
...
As I pulled into my parking spot I noticed that I his car was not there...yet...
I spent most of the day sifting through my email, looking for the announcement...
Every note caused me to jump, look and frown in disappointment.
I also waited for him to appear in my doorway...
I had seen that his car was in its spot...but he was not!
My PC made its familar beep, announcing the arrival of another disappointing email and almost the same time that the PC make that noise...he appeared at my door...
Do I turn and check the message or do I focus on my visitor...?
I decided that the email could wait! Unless the network AND my PC were destroyed by some catestrophe...that email would be there...the ghost would not!
"It is nice to have you back in the land of the living..." I said as a welcome...
"It is nice to be back" he cordially responded...
He scanned me as if he were looking for something...which made me rather uncomfortable...
Without my invitation he entered my office and sat down in a chair directly in front of my desk...normally he sat at the table out of the line of sight from peering eyes in the hallway...
"Have you read the announcement?" He asked
"No...I haven't received it yet..." I responded
"Look" he demanded...
And sure enough it was the one that just arrived...
I read it and was not surprised...
"So they are reorganizing again...that happens on a regular basis..."
"So my boss is moving up...that is great news...For him..."
"That it is...he'll do really well in his new position" he observed..."They asked my about that and I told them I thought that he would..."
"You know that I have always told the company that you would be good..."
"I hope that you estimating ability with me is as good as the rest of your estimations!"
"Of all of my estimations...this is one of the few that I can say will definitely exceed my calculations...but I have a reputation to uphold..."
"Don't let me down...OK?"
"Never...why would you say that?"
"Although the announcement indcated a few changes...I suspected that he was going to run the place until they could find a replacement...which often takes months...that was cool...we can make many of the changes we always dreamed of...before the next guy gets in...and then it would be up to him to carry them through..."
"So what are we going to with this opportunity that is afforded us?" I asked...
"What do you want to do?" He asked in reply..."It's your show for the next 6 months!They asked me to tell you that! I work for you now!"
"I knew that I had a month at most and he had told me that with the first two words out of his mouth! If I had only listened...I would have known days ago!"
"...I am so narrow and literal sometimes! I have to be more observant and think in a broader context...I reminded myself! Some lessons are harder to learn than others!
Monday, November 16, 2009
Starting...Anything or Nothing?
"Where to start?"
"Is there anything to start?"
"Why start anything?"
"What a way to start my day!"
My thoughts were all around starting! I could tell because every sentence of "self-talk" had that word in it!
That is not like me to not know where to start!
THIS IS "STARTING" TO GET TO ME!
And just as I started to lose my sanity...there he was...standing at my door!
"What's on your docket today?" he asked...
"I have no idea," I replied...
"Why don't we start with..."
"DON'T USE THAT WORD...IT'S DRIVING ME CRAZY!"
He laughed and so did I!
It was if he could read my mind and knew that using the word "start" would START a great conversation!
"Why are there so many "inns" and "hotels" and "bed and breakfasts" and "motels" in this world?"
"Because people need a place to stay." I replied...
"That's half of the sentence!" he criticized
AGAIN...It was if he could read my mind! I was in no mood to play linguistic games! But I played along anyway!
"OK...and rest while they are on their travels...Are you happy?" I responded...
"That's better...most people make the mistake of thinking that they have solved the riddle in one fell swoop...missing the point that most every answer to every problem requires a predicate and a qualifier..."
"But...that is not what..."
"AND...you know what I meant..." he broke in...
"Leaders miss a critical aspect in their development...that often works to their demise!"
TELL ME! TELL ME!
"We must discover it together for it to be of any value..."
"I hate that!" I laughed...but I knew that he was right!
"Do you put people on your team that have skills that you do not have?"
"Any good leader does that," I replied, "A good leader needs to gather people who are better than themselves!"
"That is interesting...and a traditional thought...there are few on your teams that are better than you...we'll talk more about that later..."
"Do you bring people on your team who do not have your strengths?"
"I do that too!"
"That is more astute than you think!" he smiled, "We'll talk about that more too..."
"What tasks do you do more often during your work day...the ones that you are good at or the ones that you are not?"
"I have to admit that I am tasked with the things that I am good at...it seems to make sense to me..."
"You are right...but, let's dig into this in relation to your leadership call a little deeper..."
"What is the responsibility of a leader?"
"This question has been asked and answered so many times...I repeat it in my sleep! It is to provide meaningful directions to my team and the world at large..."
"Can you provide meaningful direction to those people that you have on your team who know more than you? Can a blind person lead a sighted person better through a visual maze?"
"I think that you have answered that for me! NO!"
"Then for those people you are not really a leader are you!"
"Your skills are best served for those who you have more knowledge and experience than..."
"I think I have to say I agree!"
"I can still lead those who are more skilled...it just takes more effort" I retorted in defense...
"You are absolutely right...but let's talk about leadership efficiency"
"It is much easier and requires less time to guide those who work for you in areas of your talent...because you have the knowledge and experience to guide them quickly and efficiently."
"What you can do in leadership minutes with them takes leadership hours for the others...right?"
"I have to agree with you there!"
"So not only do you need to gather people more talented than you...to accomplish the tasks that you can't accomplish...you need to gather people around you who possess the desire but lack the experience to assign tasks that you are great at doing!"
"This takes away a majority of your workload! Giving you time to work on your inefficiencies...gain experience and become adept at those things that you are not good at!"
"Good leaders gather people that are more skilled than themselves..."
"GREAT leaders gather both...in fact a majority knows less but has as much passion...and then assigns his tasks to them..."
"...So that they have the time to continually grow as a leader (in skill, knowledge and experience) and become better at who they are!...AND LEAD more people correctly"
"Most leaders spend most of their time doing things they are good at...and as a result specialize and lose everything they set out to achieve..."
"When in fact they should be doing just the opposite!"
"Leaders should be working in areas where they lack the skill, knowledge and experience..."
"Great leaders possess the passion to put aside their talents and grow!"
"AND they need to possess the passion to be in that arena of their life...and trust those they can lead to take care of the things they could have done extraordinately...by themselves..."
"You have flipped my perspective on leadership totally on end!"
"Lead those I can and follow those who can teach me a thing or two or three or four! AND then constantly work to expand the group of individuals that I can lead...by number and type!" "How cool is that?"
"That is one of my career secrets! Use it wisely my friend!"
"So perhaps you are a place in your journey that is not unlike checking into an Inn! Maybe you need a rest!"
"Not in the least!"
"I should look at today and figure out what I can assign and lead...and then go and learn some cool stuff so that I can someday be recognized as the leader of those I once followed and learned from!"
"I will NEVER be so arrogant to think that I can lead people who are better than me...they are my leaders and my teachers!"
"Leadership is not something to be had in title only...it includes skill, knowledge and experience..."
"I need to start learning!"
"Doesn't that answer your questions?"
"Is there anything to start?"
"Why start anything?"
"What a way to start my day!"
My thoughts were all around starting! I could tell because every sentence of "self-talk" had that word in it!
That is not like me to not know where to start!
THIS IS "STARTING" TO GET TO ME!
And just as I started to lose my sanity...there he was...standing at my door!
"What's on your docket today?" he asked...
"I have no idea," I replied...
"Why don't we start with..."
"DON'T USE THAT WORD...IT'S DRIVING ME CRAZY!"
He laughed and so did I!
It was if he could read my mind and knew that using the word "start" would START a great conversation!
"Why are there so many "inns" and "hotels" and "bed and breakfasts" and "motels" in this world?"
"Because people need a place to stay." I replied...
"That's half of the sentence!" he criticized
AGAIN...It was if he could read my mind! I was in no mood to play linguistic games! But I played along anyway!
"OK...and rest while they are on their travels...Are you happy?" I responded...
"That's better...most people make the mistake of thinking that they have solved the riddle in one fell swoop...missing the point that most every answer to every problem requires a predicate and a qualifier..."
"But...that is not what..."
"AND...you know what I meant..." he broke in...
"Leaders miss a critical aspect in their development...that often works to their demise!"
TELL ME! TELL ME!
"We must discover it together for it to be of any value..."
"I hate that!" I laughed...but I knew that he was right!
"Do you put people on your team that have skills that you do not have?"
"Any good leader does that," I replied, "A good leader needs to gather people who are better than themselves!"
"That is interesting...and a traditional thought...there are few on your teams that are better than you...we'll talk more about that later..."
"Do you bring people on your team who do not have your strengths?"
"I do that too!"
"That is more astute than you think!" he smiled, "We'll talk about that more too..."
"What tasks do you do more often during your work day...the ones that you are good at or the ones that you are not?"
"I have to admit that I am tasked with the things that I am good at...it seems to make sense to me..."
"You are right...but, let's dig into this in relation to your leadership call a little deeper..."
"What is the responsibility of a leader?"
"This question has been asked and answered so many times...I repeat it in my sleep! It is to provide meaningful directions to my team and the world at large..."
"Can you provide meaningful direction to those people that you have on your team who know more than you? Can a blind person lead a sighted person better through a visual maze?"
"I think that you have answered that for me! NO!"
"Then for those people you are not really a leader are you!"
"Your skills are best served for those who you have more knowledge and experience than..."
"I think I have to say I agree!"
"I can still lead those who are more skilled...it just takes more effort" I retorted in defense...
"You are absolutely right...but let's talk about leadership efficiency"
"It is much easier and requires less time to guide those who work for you in areas of your talent...because you have the knowledge and experience to guide them quickly and efficiently."
"What you can do in leadership minutes with them takes leadership hours for the others...right?"
"I have to agree with you there!"
"So not only do you need to gather people more talented than you...to accomplish the tasks that you can't accomplish...you need to gather people around you who possess the desire but lack the experience to assign tasks that you are great at doing!"
"This takes away a majority of your workload! Giving you time to work on your inefficiencies...gain experience and become adept at those things that you are not good at!"
"Good leaders gather people that are more skilled than themselves..."
"GREAT leaders gather both...in fact a majority knows less but has as much passion...and then assigns his tasks to them..."
"...So that they have the time to continually grow as a leader (in skill, knowledge and experience) and become better at who they are!...AND LEAD more people correctly"
"Most leaders spend most of their time doing things they are good at...and as a result specialize and lose everything they set out to achieve..."
"When in fact they should be doing just the opposite!"
"Leaders should be working in areas where they lack the skill, knowledge and experience..."
"Great leaders possess the passion to put aside their talents and grow!"
"AND they need to possess the passion to be in that arena of their life...and trust those they can lead to take care of the things they could have done extraordinately...by themselves..."
"You have flipped my perspective on leadership totally on end!"
"Lead those I can and follow those who can teach me a thing or two or three or four! AND then constantly work to expand the group of individuals that I can lead...by number and type!" "How cool is that?"
"That is one of my career secrets! Use it wisely my friend!"
"So perhaps you are a place in your journey that is not unlike checking into an Inn! Maybe you need a rest!"
"Not in the least!"
"I should look at today and figure out what I can assign and lead...and then go and learn some cool stuff so that I can someday be recognized as the leader of those I once followed and learned from!"
"I will NEVER be so arrogant to think that I can lead people who are better than me...they are my leaders and my teachers!"
"Leadership is not something to be had in title only...it includes skill, knowledge and experience..."
"I need to start learning!"
"Doesn't that answer your questions?"
Wednesday, November 11, 2009
Passion, Persistence and Direction...
I was totally dumbfounded as I read the formal announcement that he was no longer with us!
I guess that I shouldn't have been surprised...he was not an employee...and refused to be...he always took consulting or contracting roles...and worked diligently to eliminate his position...and always suceeded!
He always dug deeper than he should have and found skeletons that organizations could not face!
This often times helped his leaving...but even gone...his bringing them out made the company better!
I was going to miss him more than one would ever know...
I walked down to his office...to bid adieu...but it was already empty...
He knew this was coming and...DIDN'T TELL ME!
I walked back to my office...decided that I would take the rest of the day off...and left...
I drove directly to his condo...and found him sitting on his patio, with 2 glasses...one started and one waiting!
He smiled, when he saw me walk around the corner...
"You are right on time!"
You knew and you didn't tell me!
Now what are you going to do?
"Rest and take care of things that I have left remiss for way too long...then come back to work!"
"Do a little fishing..." "Ride my bike"
All I heard was "come back to work..." Do you know something that I do not?
"This is the 7th time that I have done this for your company...they always find a reason to bring me back...do you think that this time it will be any different?"
Are you going back to Greece to wait this out?
"No, I think that I will stay here...I have grown fond of this area...lots of things to do...besides...I own this place...my place in Greece has people taking care of it...this place doesn't."
"You own places all over the world...it doesn't make sense that you'd stay here!"
"OK...I'll say it...I want to hang around here with you! I have gotten used to having someone that likes my rum as much as I do..."
I smiled I just needed to hear that! I had gotten used to him too! Nothing was going to stand in the way...I would give him half of my salary just to help him out...seriously!
"So why does this happen time and time again?...I would think that you'd learn!"
"You are assuming that this is a bad thing! Perhaps it took years of learning to be able to do this!"
He always had a twist, and this one was making sense...when you took him and his work in the proper perspective.
He was a man of Passion...
He was Persistent to a fault and...
He knew where he wanted to go...he has a keen sense of Direction...
There was no stopping him!
He found a way to make things happen and kept at it until the world around him willingly gave in!
"I hope that you never get so tied to an organization or a career that you can not drop it in a instant!"
"That is not healthy for you...or a foundation for success...being tied to a job that is..."
How can you be Passionate about something that you do not care about losing?
"I can see that you are pretty upset today...because you are not thinking globally...let me explain..."
"People make the mistake of thinking that there is only one type of passion..."
"They through the word around without knowing what they are really saying or meaning..."
"That, my friend is a dangerous thing..."
"I have found that there are many types..."
"Some are good and some are destructive..."
"There is a passion that springs from complete dedication to something or someone..."
"There is passion that grows out of fear..."
"There is passion driven by insanity..."
"There is passion that is driven by love..."
"There is passion driven appreciation..."
"There is passion driven from indebtedness..."
"I could go on for a long time...you get the picture..."
"There is no single reason for passion..."
"You have to be disciminating about the passion that you exude!"
"DO NOT blindly follow anyone who says that you should be a person of passion...without getting a clear understanding of the type of passion that they are referring to!"
"You could be making the same mistake that a country did in the 1930's"
WOW! You are passionate about passion! I laughed...
"Passionate people are magnetic...and the thing is that if you hang around them too long...the passion that they exude takes over..."
"YOU MUST be selective about what you are passionate about...and why..."
"Passion is a driver and it be Good, True and Beautiful...based in morality and NEVER self-serving"
"Otherwise it will turn on you like a wild animal!"
While he talked...the phone rang...
Aren't you going to go and answer it?
"Heck no...that is what I bought an answering machine for!"
"Besides...you are one of the only ones who call me...it must be a wrong number..."
"When you are passionate...you will become honestly persistent...and will know exactly the direction that you must follow..."
"These characteristics are like dominoes!"
"They are sequential and linked..."
"First Passion..."
"Then Persistence..."
"Then Direction..."
"I need a refill...do you?"
"Let's finish this thought before we have another..."
"I like your focus and persistence!"
"This is what I am talking about!"
"When you are passionate about someting...you will not be detracted from it, its course and its achievement!"
"The uninformed seek passion for what they think it will give them...they use it as a means to an end..."
"Passion is the reason for which you do something that show itself in the manifestation of your every action..."
"That is why I am passionate about it!"
"I am so mad at the company for ending your stay..."
"Be careful...that can become a passion...and it will drive your behaviors..."
"You will never know the entire reason for events..."
"I have never let a single event (except for the Mrs leaving) ever get to me..."
"One event never makes a person...life is a series of events..."
"Take this event for what it is...a chance to change directions..."
"A chance to assess my direction and zero in what I need to do next..."
"My passion for what I am doing is undetered..."
"My persistence is unwavering..."
"We'll see what direction this takes me next!"
"You can do the same..."
"RIGHT?"
"Let's go get that refill...you're off the clock and so am I..."
As I poured...he went over to the answering machine and pushed replay...
I recognized the voice...it said..."Hey...just wanted to let you know that he resigned...you were right...give me a call...I have another challenge for you!"
"Do you need some help moving back into your office?"
"I'll let this sit for a couple of weeks...I have some things to do!"
I guess that I shouldn't have been surprised...he was not an employee...and refused to be...he always took consulting or contracting roles...and worked diligently to eliminate his position...and always suceeded!
He always dug deeper than he should have and found skeletons that organizations could not face!
This often times helped his leaving...but even gone...his bringing them out made the company better!
I was going to miss him more than one would ever know...
I walked down to his office...to bid adieu...but it was already empty...
He knew this was coming and...DIDN'T TELL ME!
I walked back to my office...decided that I would take the rest of the day off...and left...
I drove directly to his condo...and found him sitting on his patio, with 2 glasses...one started and one waiting!
He smiled, when he saw me walk around the corner...
"You are right on time!"
You knew and you didn't tell me!
Now what are you going to do?
"Rest and take care of things that I have left remiss for way too long...then come back to work!"
"Do a little fishing..." "Ride my bike"
All I heard was "come back to work..." Do you know something that I do not?
"This is the 7th time that I have done this for your company...they always find a reason to bring me back...do you think that this time it will be any different?"
Are you going back to Greece to wait this out?
"No, I think that I will stay here...I have grown fond of this area...lots of things to do...besides...I own this place...my place in Greece has people taking care of it...this place doesn't."
"You own places all over the world...it doesn't make sense that you'd stay here!"
"OK...I'll say it...I want to hang around here with you! I have gotten used to having someone that likes my rum as much as I do..."
I smiled I just needed to hear that! I had gotten used to him too! Nothing was going to stand in the way...I would give him half of my salary just to help him out...seriously!
"So why does this happen time and time again?...I would think that you'd learn!"
"You are assuming that this is a bad thing! Perhaps it took years of learning to be able to do this!"
He always had a twist, and this one was making sense...when you took him and his work in the proper perspective.
He was a man of Passion...
He was Persistent to a fault and...
He knew where he wanted to go...he has a keen sense of Direction...
There was no stopping him!
He found a way to make things happen and kept at it until the world around him willingly gave in!
"I hope that you never get so tied to an organization or a career that you can not drop it in a instant!"
"That is not healthy for you...or a foundation for success...being tied to a job that is..."
How can you be Passionate about something that you do not care about losing?
"I can see that you are pretty upset today...because you are not thinking globally...let me explain..."
"People make the mistake of thinking that there is only one type of passion..."
"They through the word around without knowing what they are really saying or meaning..."
"That, my friend is a dangerous thing..."
"I have found that there are many types..."
"Some are good and some are destructive..."
"There is a passion that springs from complete dedication to something or someone..."
"There is passion that grows out of fear..."
"There is passion driven by insanity..."
"There is passion that is driven by love..."
"There is passion driven appreciation..."
"There is passion driven from indebtedness..."
"I could go on for a long time...you get the picture..."
"There is no single reason for passion..."
"You have to be disciminating about the passion that you exude!"
"DO NOT blindly follow anyone who says that you should be a person of passion...without getting a clear understanding of the type of passion that they are referring to!"
"You could be making the same mistake that a country did in the 1930's"
WOW! You are passionate about passion! I laughed...
"Passionate people are magnetic...and the thing is that if you hang around them too long...the passion that they exude takes over..."
"YOU MUST be selective about what you are passionate about...and why..."
"Passion is a driver and it be Good, True and Beautiful...based in morality and NEVER self-serving"
"Otherwise it will turn on you like a wild animal!"
While he talked...the phone rang...
Aren't you going to go and answer it?
"Heck no...that is what I bought an answering machine for!"
"Besides...you are one of the only ones who call me...it must be a wrong number..."
"When you are passionate...you will become honestly persistent...and will know exactly the direction that you must follow..."
"These characteristics are like dominoes!"
"They are sequential and linked..."
"First Passion..."
"Then Persistence..."
"Then Direction..."
"I need a refill...do you?"
"Let's finish this thought before we have another..."
"I like your focus and persistence!"
"This is what I am talking about!"
"When you are passionate about someting...you will not be detracted from it, its course and its achievement!"
"The uninformed seek passion for what they think it will give them...they use it as a means to an end..."
"Passion is the reason for which you do something that show itself in the manifestation of your every action..."
"That is why I am passionate about it!"
"I am so mad at the company for ending your stay..."
"Be careful...that can become a passion...and it will drive your behaviors..."
"You will never know the entire reason for events..."
"I have never let a single event (except for the Mrs leaving) ever get to me..."
"One event never makes a person...life is a series of events..."
"Take this event for what it is...a chance to change directions..."
"A chance to assess my direction and zero in what I need to do next..."
"My passion for what I am doing is undetered..."
"My persistence is unwavering..."
"We'll see what direction this takes me next!"
"You can do the same..."
"RIGHT?"
"Let's go get that refill...you're off the clock and so am I..."
As I poured...he went over to the answering machine and pushed replay...
I recognized the voice...it said..."Hey...just wanted to let you know that he resigned...you were right...give me a call...I have another challenge for you!"
"Do you need some help moving back into your office?"
"I'll let this sit for a couple of weeks...I have some things to do!"
Thursday, November 5, 2009
Hindsight and Regrets!
I was leaning on against a cold stainless steel table...surveying my team's success...
My end of the factory was "up and running" ahead of time!
A $30million factory expansion...
I was responsible for more than half of that cost...and it was sitting idle...NO PRODUCTION!
Not because our end of the process was broke...but because everything that fed it was!
We were ready as requested...they were not!
It was a great feeling...
The team was "out and about" looking for potential problems...and making things even better!
I thought...by the time we get hit with the "tidal wave" we'll have everything "shaken-down" and it'll work like a finely tuned watch!
What a great position to be in!!!!!
Then...echoes from a long corridor brought me back to the moment..."HEY THERE...I got something to tell you..."
"You are not spending much time in your office..."
"I know that!" I shouted back...
I turned to see him...walking like a stately "professor."
"You should be proud of this accomplishment...the company thought this end of the factory would be the bottleneck! They actually planned an extra month as your target because they thought this cutting edge stuff wouldn't fly the first time!"
Do you mean that they added a month to my deadline...or they didn't expect it for a month from the deadline they gave me?
"The latter! Do you think that they would let you know that you had breathing room? Don't be stupid!"
Whew...I was just sitting here reveling in this accomplishment...and you almost rained on my parade!
"Reveling?"
"No you weren't!"
He saw right through me!
The truth was...I was thinking about what we accomplished...but not in the context of success...but as a opiate! I was looking to kill the pain of my reality! I told myself, "Look at what you accomplished...stop feeling sorry for yourself!"
I do not know how he saw that from that distance...but he did!
"Regrets?"
"Hindsight is nearly always perfect"
"A good leader always has regrets and perfect hindsight!"
"It can be a depressing reality!"
"I expected to find you here...thinking about what you could have done better..."
"Do you know that your desk has enough dust on it that I wrote a note to you in it?"
"You should read the note...it is important!" he laughed
I guess that I have been remiss on my office duties!
"No...the cleaning people have been...your office is always spotless...they should be stepping up to help keep it that way!"
It is a funny thing about hindsight and regrets...
"Where's your team? You guys hang pretty tight! I can ususally find you by looking for the crowd and your party!"
"They are out shaking-down the factory for the ump-teenth time...looking for stuff that they may have missed and making things even better..."
"AND your here so that you do not get in their way...right?"
"I guess so..."
"Sounds like the team is out there taking care of hindsight and regrets...doesn't it?"
I laughed..."I guess so!"
"So what is the funny thing about hindsight and regets?" I asked, "Look at you...the epitomy of success...your own business...more work than you can shake a stick at...world recognition...books...speaking engagements...you call the shots...you are there my friend...me...I am here!"
"Look at me...I worry more about the success of my efforts, than me...and look at what I get! Most of the time...never even a thank-you! You have your PhD...don't tell me about regrets...you did everything perfect! I feel like my world is a series of mistakes and compromises..."
"What stands before you is almost 70 years in the making...but has only existed for the last few years!"
My PhD? I got that after I was 60!...after I had the time to formalize what I had learned in the past years...I couldn't have done that any sooner...my hindsight told me that...and it told me when I was ready!
"10 years ago I was nothing...today...I still am nothing..."
"You may think that I have always been this way, because this is the only way that you have seen me."
"I have a ton of regrets...and excellent hindsight..." "Why? it is because of "the almost 70 years"...not because what I am today!"
"People make the mistake of thinking that this world is linear...a series of events and decisions...leading to conclusions..."
"Do you realize how often I hear...or have said myself..."If I had only"...?"
"That is regret brought about by hindsight..."
"There was a reason that I came out here to find you...ahhhh...it must not have mattered...let's go on"
"There are things I regret...like being away from home when the Mrs left...and not telling her that I loved her one more time..."
"I regret the last 2 hours that I spent with her...holding her tight...as I waited for the coronor...when I found her alone on the floor..."
"I regret not moving to the US when I was young and avoiding that war!"
"I regret not fighting harder in the war..."
"I regret every shot I took in the war..."
"I regret not working harder in school...and getting my PhD earlier..."
"At any moment...I can regret any event and decision in my life...but that is not leadership!"
"But you know...those events brought me here and has given me an opportunity to be here with you!"
"One slight variation in the events of my life...would have me somewhere else or not here at all!"
"It is a miracle!"
"Less talk about a less miraculous thing..."
"Leadership!"
"Leadership does two things...it gets to its goal and then it looks backward and repairs the regret!"
"...if a leader is feeling regret...then they have missed a big part of their job..."
"Leadership is not linear...it is global and simultaneously takes care of the past...the present and the future!"
"We can treat regret and hindsight one of two ways..."
"Most people use it as an excuse for laziness..."
"I wish I would have...or...things would be much different if...or...it is too late to...!"
"You taught me this one...and I am going to use it on you...How do you know if your mission is complete?"
"I know...I know...Answer the question...Are you still alive?"
He snickered, "I love getting you with your own words...just as much as you love getting me!"
"OK...I can sit here with a pocketful of excuses...or I can what?"
"Do something!"
"Have you ever thought that hindsight and regrets may not be a reflection of poor decisions and opportunity lost...but an indication of the gaps that yet need to be filled?"
"Perhaps you'd never have seen them without taking the path that you took..."
"Perhaps they are opportunities for achievement of your dreams..."
"You'll never see the valley if you walk on the backside of the mountain..."
"And if you walk the backside of the mountain...be happy with the view from that side!"
"If the valley view is that important...then take another trip! What is stopping you?"
BUT...
He stopped me dead in my words...
"There you go with the regrets again!"
"They will kill you..."
"Hindsight is a gift..."
"Regrets are the rejection of that gift!"
"It is what you do with your hindsight that makes you who you are!"
"You can sit in regret and make excuses or you can do something about it!"
"You can say..."I wish I would have..." and do nothing...or you can say..."now that I know I should have...I will..."
"You can say..."I wish I wouldn't have..." and do nothing about it...or you can say..."I wish I wouldn't have and I now, I will fix it..."
"Leaders thank their hindsight and act!"
"Great Leaders live a regret-free life...Why?" "Because they address those areas as they arise...and make them right!" "How blind is the leader who has no regrets because he has no morality!...How rare is the leader with a moral sense and the courage to act upon it!"
"If life is non-linear...it is never too late!"
"Treat life like as a series of hindsights...and the fleeting regrets as the catalysts of the reactions to what you learned! Live in the world of "lessons learned" and use regrets to make things perfect...it is NEVER too late!" "Regrets disappear from those who act and react appropriately!"
"OH YEAH....did I tell you that they got the front-end finally running?"
"That's what I came here to tell you...that's what I wrote on your desk!"
"When?" I frantically asked...
"About 2 hours ago!"
"That means that..." I said as I looked up to see a "sunami" of product!
"Sit still," he sad..."You are ready! They are ready!" "You've been that way for weeks..."
"Let's go get a cup of coffee and let the next wave of hindsight take its course and develop!"
"You win some...or you learn something!"
Hindsight is a gift!
Regrets?
ACT ON THEM!
My end of the factory was "up and running" ahead of time!
A $30million factory expansion...
I was responsible for more than half of that cost...and it was sitting idle...NO PRODUCTION!
Not because our end of the process was broke...but because everything that fed it was!
We were ready as requested...they were not!
It was a great feeling...
The team was "out and about" looking for potential problems...and making things even better!
I thought...by the time we get hit with the "tidal wave" we'll have everything "shaken-down" and it'll work like a finely tuned watch!
What a great position to be in!!!!!
Then...echoes from a long corridor brought me back to the moment..."HEY THERE...I got something to tell you..."
"You are not spending much time in your office..."
"I know that!" I shouted back...
I turned to see him...walking like a stately "professor."
"You should be proud of this accomplishment...the company thought this end of the factory would be the bottleneck! They actually planned an extra month as your target because they thought this cutting edge stuff wouldn't fly the first time!"
Do you mean that they added a month to my deadline...or they didn't expect it for a month from the deadline they gave me?
"The latter! Do you think that they would let you know that you had breathing room? Don't be stupid!"
Whew...I was just sitting here reveling in this accomplishment...and you almost rained on my parade!
"Reveling?"
"No you weren't!"
He saw right through me!
The truth was...I was thinking about what we accomplished...but not in the context of success...but as a opiate! I was looking to kill the pain of my reality! I told myself, "Look at what you accomplished...stop feeling sorry for yourself!"
I do not know how he saw that from that distance...but he did!
"Regrets?"
"Hindsight is nearly always perfect"
"A good leader always has regrets and perfect hindsight!"
"It can be a depressing reality!"
"I expected to find you here...thinking about what you could have done better..."
"Do you know that your desk has enough dust on it that I wrote a note to you in it?"
"You should read the note...it is important!" he laughed
I guess that I have been remiss on my office duties!
"No...the cleaning people have been...your office is always spotless...they should be stepping up to help keep it that way!"
It is a funny thing about hindsight and regrets...
"Where's your team? You guys hang pretty tight! I can ususally find you by looking for the crowd and your party!"
"They are out shaking-down the factory for the ump-teenth time...looking for stuff that they may have missed and making things even better..."
"AND your here so that you do not get in their way...right?"
"I guess so..."
"Sounds like the team is out there taking care of hindsight and regrets...doesn't it?"
I laughed..."I guess so!"
"So what is the funny thing about hindsight and regets?" I asked, "Look at you...the epitomy of success...your own business...more work than you can shake a stick at...world recognition...books...speaking engagements...you call the shots...you are there my friend...me...I am here!"
"Look at me...I worry more about the success of my efforts, than me...and look at what I get! Most of the time...never even a thank-you! You have your PhD...don't tell me about regrets...you did everything perfect! I feel like my world is a series of mistakes and compromises..."
"What stands before you is almost 70 years in the making...but has only existed for the last few years!"
My PhD? I got that after I was 60!...after I had the time to formalize what I had learned in the past years...I couldn't have done that any sooner...my hindsight told me that...and it told me when I was ready!
"10 years ago I was nothing...today...I still am nothing..."
"You may think that I have always been this way, because this is the only way that you have seen me."
"I have a ton of regrets...and excellent hindsight..." "Why? it is because of "the almost 70 years"...not because what I am today!"
"People make the mistake of thinking that this world is linear...a series of events and decisions...leading to conclusions..."
"Do you realize how often I hear...or have said myself..."If I had only"...?"
"That is regret brought about by hindsight..."
"There was a reason that I came out here to find you...ahhhh...it must not have mattered...let's go on"
"There are things I regret...like being away from home when the Mrs left...and not telling her that I loved her one more time..."
"I regret the last 2 hours that I spent with her...holding her tight...as I waited for the coronor...when I found her alone on the floor..."
"I regret not moving to the US when I was young and avoiding that war!"
"I regret not fighting harder in the war..."
"I regret every shot I took in the war..."
"I regret not working harder in school...and getting my PhD earlier..."
"At any moment...I can regret any event and decision in my life...but that is not leadership!"
"But you know...those events brought me here and has given me an opportunity to be here with you!"
"One slight variation in the events of my life...would have me somewhere else or not here at all!"
"It is a miracle!"
"Less talk about a less miraculous thing..."
"Leadership!"
"Leadership does two things...it gets to its goal and then it looks backward and repairs the regret!"
"...if a leader is feeling regret...then they have missed a big part of their job..."
"Leadership is not linear...it is global and simultaneously takes care of the past...the present and the future!"
"We can treat regret and hindsight one of two ways..."
"Most people use it as an excuse for laziness..."
"I wish I would have...or...things would be much different if...or...it is too late to...!"
"You taught me this one...and I am going to use it on you...How do you know if your mission is complete?"
"I know...I know...Answer the question...Are you still alive?"
He snickered, "I love getting you with your own words...just as much as you love getting me!"
"OK...I can sit here with a pocketful of excuses...or I can what?"
"Do something!"
"Have you ever thought that hindsight and regrets may not be a reflection of poor decisions and opportunity lost...but an indication of the gaps that yet need to be filled?"
"Perhaps you'd never have seen them without taking the path that you took..."
"Perhaps they are opportunities for achievement of your dreams..."
"You'll never see the valley if you walk on the backside of the mountain..."
"And if you walk the backside of the mountain...be happy with the view from that side!"
"If the valley view is that important...then take another trip! What is stopping you?"
BUT...
He stopped me dead in my words...
"There you go with the regrets again!"
"They will kill you..."
"Hindsight is a gift..."
"Regrets are the rejection of that gift!"
"It is what you do with your hindsight that makes you who you are!"
"You can sit in regret and make excuses or you can do something about it!"
"You can say..."I wish I would have..." and do nothing...or you can say..."now that I know I should have...I will..."
"You can say..."I wish I wouldn't have..." and do nothing about it...or you can say..."I wish I wouldn't have and I now, I will fix it..."
"Leaders thank their hindsight and act!"
"Great Leaders live a regret-free life...Why?" "Because they address those areas as they arise...and make them right!" "How blind is the leader who has no regrets because he has no morality!...How rare is the leader with a moral sense and the courage to act upon it!"
"If life is non-linear...it is never too late!"
"Treat life like as a series of hindsights...and the fleeting regrets as the catalysts of the reactions to what you learned! Live in the world of "lessons learned" and use regrets to make things perfect...it is NEVER too late!" "Regrets disappear from those who act and react appropriately!"
"OH YEAH....did I tell you that they got the front-end finally running?"
"That's what I came here to tell you...that's what I wrote on your desk!"
"When?" I frantically asked...
"About 2 hours ago!"
"That means that..." I said as I looked up to see a "sunami" of product!
"Sit still," he sad..."You are ready! They are ready!" "You've been that way for weeks..."
"Let's go get a cup of coffee and let the next wave of hindsight take its course and develop!"
"You win some...or you learn something!"
Hindsight is a gift!
Regrets?
ACT ON THEM!
Wednesday, November 4, 2009
Who is the Hardest Person to be Honest with?
We had been spending quite a bit of time together talking about VERY deep and personal things...
The kind of things that if dwelled upon for too long...that bring tears to ones eyes...
The level of trust required to have discussions like the these took years to build. It was mutually fostered and not due to his or my lack of trust. Part of the exercise included finding things to talk about...which often was the most difficult of disucssions like these. It is interesting to realize that many of the things that we write-off as insignificant...actually are ...and often VERY repressed! It was, in truth, a multi-faceted exercise!
Some of the topics were soft and cherished and others were dark and hidden...both types are often ignored since their occurance...because in our minds...didn't seem to matter at the time...
"It is a good thing to take inventory of one's life on a routine basis'" he would say.
I think that he actually said those words to reassure himself...that it was a worthwhile exercise. He called it REAL soul searching...
I learned to "soul search" from him...and refined the exercise over the years...
Unlike him, I no longer wait for some predetermined day to "review"...I now do so on a continuous basis...a daily list is much shorter and relevant than a quarterly list.
I used to have a quarterly review too...
Then I realized something...
"It happened when we were talking about a kid that I grew up with..."
"He was the epitomy of a 95 pound weakling...and that was over-stating his weight and strength!"
"The kid was a whimp in every sense of the word...and over-compensated for his weakness, with his mouth..."
"I recalled that whenever he was in the presence of his parents or teachers or whenever he felt a level of safety and protection, his mouth became an uncontrolled weapon...it was the only weapon that he had! It was a jaded weapon...not always cutting...but full of hollow words!"
"He had no other contribution, of any value to make, to anyone...or a claim to fame...he was bad at sports...although he believed that he was a varsity player!"
"He thought he was a great leader...he never lead anyone!"
"He never produced homework beyond mediocre...even though he believed he was an honor student!"
"BUT THAT MOUTH!"
"He was the king of insults and threats...but every one of them (the insults and digs) came under an umbrella of protection...he had no guts to stand on his own..."
"That mouth" hurt many kids...and threatened even more of them..."
"When he was outside his perceived "umbrella of protection" his mouth did a 180 degree flip and he blew smoke up people's backsides...but NEVER came through with his promises...he was not capable!"
"He boasted that he was one of the best "street fighters" in the city... Everyone that heard that statement just laughed...he had a hard time opening a jar of peanut butter...but he couldn't see it..."
"He believed that he was something...he allowed his own "hollow" words to convince him that he was of value..."
"I felt pity for him...I could see the truth...he couldn't..."
"Whenever possible, I let him tag along...and I often had to come to his defense...when that mouth of his got him into trouble...I guess that he saw me as one of his umbrellas of safety!"
"Then, I left my home town to seek my vision...he stayed...I think..."
"Years later I was asking what happened to him..."
"From the stories...he found himself outside his umbrella..."
"...actually he no longer had an umbrella of protection...he was alone and in the darkness...did I mention that he was scared of the dark?"
"He was forced to face his opponents...and live up to his threats and stand behind his words...(in reality...it was the truth about himself about himself that he faced)...or so the note said..."(more on that later)
"He tried blowing smoke...but the world was no longer willing to take that from him either...it laughed!"
"...and the world got him...he found that he was not a street fighter and that he had deluded himself into believing his capability...he had no claim to fame...no personal product...nothing to contribute...his family saw the truth about him...they felt pity...and the world ate him alive..."
"He was surrounded by his personal reality and had to face the truth of his capability..."
"...those he hurt and those he threatened got him...in a most vicious way...through indifference!"
"He was no "street fighter!" He was a joke! AN OLD JOKE!"
"The truth was too much for him... He was found dead...ruled a suicide... ...and no one cared!" His final note confirmed the situation and his final decision...it was not his first attempt...so everything pointed to it...he was finally successful in something...
"After hearing the story...and for a time I wondered if it really was a suicide and that it was never investigated because the authorities and the world at large was glad that he was gone!" Everyone loves a conspiracy...but the fact of the matter was...it was a suicide...
"His life was just like a joke...entertaining for a while...then obnoxious...then passe..."I heard that one before...don't waste my time any longer..."
"For most of his life, he couldn't see the truth...he lived in some self-deluded image of himself...he was as much to blame for his demise as the world's reaction to him...it actually made me sad and I had not realized it...the "fixer" in me...made me wish I would have been there for him..."
I was telling him about that...and he listened intently...
"That is an interesting story," he broke in.
"Have you ever had a boss like that?" I asked.
"Yes, I have...in fact many!" he smiled...
"The only difference, with them, is that they never came to the realization of their own capability and demoted themselves..."
"...or saved the company the trouble of demotion by committing suicide!" He laughed!
"In a macabre way...that extreme should happen more often!"
"Maybe not suicide...but stepping down or aside...rather than struggling and fighting to keep position! Many people are hurt by the fact that people refuse to accept reality..."
"Leadership is an interesting concept..."
"I do not believe that it is a skill that should stand on its own merit!"
"It is a side benefit!"
"People have been lulled into believing that Leadership has value!"
"I am not claiming that it doesn't...it does!"
"But it is not valuable enough to be paid for alone!"
"Corporations do not see that...yet..."
"The day will come when they do!"
"AND that will definitely upset the corporate apple cart!"
"Let's chase this thought a bit deeper..."
"Leadership is like that commercial...PRICELESS!"
The world says..."You can't put a price on good leadership..."
"I wonder if they ever considered that one can't, because of its lack of measureable value?"
"I feel that "leadership" should be a prerequisite in every job...one of those HR imposed boiler-plate statements..."
"There should not be a leadership job!"
"Walk up to your leader and ask..."what do you do besides leading?"
"I bet he answers nothing...he'll answer that "leading is a full time job..."
"Then ask him "How much $ does that make for the company?"
"Really make? By something that he uniquely does for the company!"
"Yet...Organizations currently pay for leadership..."
"Organizations refuse to see the research that goes back to the 1940s and has been refined over the years that shows that BIG salaries do not motivate jobs that require creativity (a leader's claim to fame) to perform better...in fact it often detracts!"
"Don't get me wrong...Money is an incentive to menial tasks...people "making the same widgets," over and over, perform better in relation to their pay...to a maximum capacity...then incentives fail again!"
"Perhaps that is why organizations are hard pressed to change...the leaders are subtly lead to believe that their jobs are "widget making" rather than dynamic and creative!"
"It is so confusing..."
"At the lower levels they realize that every individual in an organization must contribute value equal to or exceeding their cost...to stay employed..."
"They have measureable standards...miss them and they are on probation...or worse...out the door!"
"I think that every leader should be held to that same standard!"
"They will claim that they do...things like growth...or contribution...or revenue...but those are not products..."
"I hold that EVERY leader needs to have a work product...that is the price of admission...for being a leader!"
"Every leader needs to contribute equal to or more than their cost...AND lead!"
"The standard to which the lower levels are held...(more or equal value) should also be the standard to which leadership is held...make it measureable and hold them to it!"
"Now let's take a side passage in this tunnel!"
"Leadership alone is of no value!"
"That is a scary statement! Many "so-called" leaders will take exception with that position."
"Leadership is a benefit...but think about the reality!"
"A "so-called" leader gives an assignment to a subordinate...(the theory of delegation)...the subordinate completes the task...and the value from the task is derived!"
"The leader gets credit...but take that leader out of the "delegation equaltion" and the value of the task is the same!"
"Delegation is a "widget" task!"
"You can automate "delegation!" A leader's assignment is inconsequential! NON-VALUE ADDED!"
"Look how much money that organizations could save by eliminating the "assignment givers-credit takers!"
"Organizations were on the right path when they began to "flatten" reporting structures. They rid themselves of many of those useless people! It scared many of the "useless/non-value added" positions! The fight was vicious! I loved watching that...and seeing how many "useless and downsized" top managers struggled to hold down a McDonalds job after being eliminated! Showed me their real value! That made me laugh in delight...I am a bit embarrassed by that response of mine...but I called it just reward!"
"I wish more of that would happen!"
"Profit margins will increase when organizations realize the TRUE value of leadership!"
"And use it (require it) in its proper context..."
"From an individual's prespective, leadership is an unalienable right..."
He stopped for a minute to revel in that statement!
"It is a given right to both, lead and be lead!"
"A good leader has a right to lead..."
"People deserve to be lead properly..."
"It is a definite benefit to any organization that has good leadership!"
"It should be required by anyone who claims a leadership title..."
"If that philosophy prevailed...we would have few organizational issues..."
"Leaders must earn the right to be recognized as leaders..."
"Leaders must continually pay for the right to lead..."
"Not through the "assignment giving/credti-taking" interpretation of their job..."
"...but by a contribution that pays for their right to be there and be a leader!"
"If a leader does nothing but "assignment-giving/credit-taking" they are a cost to that organization that SHOULD BE ELIMINATED!"
"No product of value...no pay!"
"They do it to clerks pulling minimum wages...why not do it to leaders that have 6 figure incomes?"
Today's Issues
"The problem with most of today's leadership...when I come to think of it...is the same problem that your childhood friend had...they can't be honest with themselves..."
"The hardest person to be honest with is yourself!"
"People refuse to see themselves as they really are!"
"Talk about a major denial issue!"
"They blow up their egos...why?"
"They can't be honest with themselves or the real contributions!"
"Because if they faced reality...they would realize that their contributions are of NO VALUE!"
"I worked for a CEO that was at the right place at the right time and grew a business from a small operations center...he believed that it was his doing...but in reality anyone could have done what he was doing!"
"It was sad...but he ruined many people's lives with his arrogance before he was seen for what he really was...and was fired! To this day...he still thinks he was a great leader...and not just lucky!"
"When a person is like that..."
"The question becomes...why lead or why live?"
"These people waste a lot of an organization's money...and cost the consumers a ton of money in return!"
"Their true incompetence steals money from organizations! These theives should be in prison...for theft and impersonating a leader!"
"I learned that long ago...during the war (WW-II)."
"The leaders that were worth anything...were those who carried a gun and used their share of ammunition...they lead their people into battle...not from the safety of behind...they were in front! They caught as many if not more bullets than the people they lead...why...because they were in front...working!"
"Over the course of time...our side was running out of good leaders...so they assigned leaders from supply corps...people who only knew guns by their "supply code!"
"Although I was not witness to it...more of those leaders were casualties of allied caliber bullets, than axis calibers! Fact of the matter was...they earned those bullets for their lack of contribution to the cause! War is a funny thing...it brings out the REAL reactive behaviors in people...the things they wished they could do...but couldn't...because of socially accepted rules..."
"The sad thing was that many of these leaders never realized that they had fooled themselves into believing they were worth something...and that deception carried to their familes who got post humonous medals...and believe that their loved ones died heros..."
"These people deserve to know the truth...that their "heros" died shouting orders from the safety of an umbrella...far from harm's way...and got shot there...by a subordinate who had had enough of their "gutless" ranting!"
"Most of these leaders...saw the shots coming...and had more than sufficient time to react...but they couldn't use their guns! They claimed to be soldiers...and were not...they hid in a uniform...but were fakes! They were impersonating officers...and were never officers...they were at best clerks...but when I think about it...couldn't even do a clerk's job..."
"Perhaps they got what they deserved..."
"It is a sad thing that war-time, natural selection does not exist in organizations..."
"We have many people in many places...impersonating officers...and they do not possess the talent or ability to be clerks! When they were clerks...they were failures...and they survived!"
"It saddened me then...and it does now!"
"What you described to me...your childhood acquaintence...is exactly the same condition that I saw during the war...and it lives in today's organizations..."
"You would think that we would learn...from our childhood experiences...or in times of crisis...or just from our own career experiences..but the "collective we" never learns!"
"Perhaps a REAL leader will stand up and say something that opens the eyes of organizations and they take a stand and rid themselves from that drain on money and resources..."
"It will kill our economy someday...it will kill many good organizations...many undeserving people will be hurt..."
Then he looked up and I saw tears...
The kind of things that if dwelled upon for too long...that bring tears to ones eyes...
The level of trust required to have discussions like the these took years to build. It was mutually fostered and not due to his or my lack of trust. Part of the exercise included finding things to talk about...which often was the most difficult of disucssions like these. It is interesting to realize that many of the things that we write-off as insignificant...actually are ...and often VERY repressed! It was, in truth, a multi-faceted exercise!
Some of the topics were soft and cherished and others were dark and hidden...both types are often ignored since their occurance...because in our minds...didn't seem to matter at the time...
"It is a good thing to take inventory of one's life on a routine basis'" he would say.
I think that he actually said those words to reassure himself...that it was a worthwhile exercise. He called it REAL soul searching...
I learned to "soul search" from him...and refined the exercise over the years...
Unlike him, I no longer wait for some predetermined day to "review"...I now do so on a continuous basis...a daily list is much shorter and relevant than a quarterly list.
I used to have a quarterly review too...
Then I realized something...
"It happened when we were talking about a kid that I grew up with..."
"He was the epitomy of a 95 pound weakling...and that was over-stating his weight and strength!"
"The kid was a whimp in every sense of the word...and over-compensated for his weakness, with his mouth..."
"I recalled that whenever he was in the presence of his parents or teachers or whenever he felt a level of safety and protection, his mouth became an uncontrolled weapon...it was the only weapon that he had! It was a jaded weapon...not always cutting...but full of hollow words!"
"He had no other contribution, of any value to make, to anyone...or a claim to fame...he was bad at sports...although he believed that he was a varsity player!"
"He thought he was a great leader...he never lead anyone!"
"He never produced homework beyond mediocre...even though he believed he was an honor student!"
"BUT THAT MOUTH!"
"He was the king of insults and threats...but every one of them (the insults and digs) came under an umbrella of protection...he had no guts to stand on his own..."
"That mouth" hurt many kids...and threatened even more of them..."
"When he was outside his perceived "umbrella of protection" his mouth did a 180 degree flip and he blew smoke up people's backsides...but NEVER came through with his promises...he was not capable!"
"He boasted that he was one of the best "street fighters" in the city... Everyone that heard that statement just laughed...he had a hard time opening a jar of peanut butter...but he couldn't see it..."
"He believed that he was something...he allowed his own "hollow" words to convince him that he was of value..."
"I felt pity for him...I could see the truth...he couldn't..."
"Whenever possible, I let him tag along...and I often had to come to his defense...when that mouth of his got him into trouble...I guess that he saw me as one of his umbrellas of safety!"
"Then, I left my home town to seek my vision...he stayed...I think..."
"Years later I was asking what happened to him..."
"From the stories...he found himself outside his umbrella..."
"...actually he no longer had an umbrella of protection...he was alone and in the darkness...did I mention that he was scared of the dark?"
"He was forced to face his opponents...and live up to his threats and stand behind his words...(in reality...it was the truth about himself about himself that he faced)...or so the note said..."(more on that later)
"He tried blowing smoke...but the world was no longer willing to take that from him either...it laughed!"
"...and the world got him...he found that he was not a street fighter and that he had deluded himself into believing his capability...he had no claim to fame...no personal product...nothing to contribute...his family saw the truth about him...they felt pity...and the world ate him alive..."
"He was surrounded by his personal reality and had to face the truth of his capability..."
"...those he hurt and those he threatened got him...in a most vicious way...through indifference!"
"He was no "street fighter!" He was a joke! AN OLD JOKE!"
"The truth was too much for him... He was found dead...ruled a suicide... ...and no one cared!" His final note confirmed the situation and his final decision...it was not his first attempt...so everything pointed to it...he was finally successful in something...
"After hearing the story...and for a time I wondered if it really was a suicide and that it was never investigated because the authorities and the world at large was glad that he was gone!" Everyone loves a conspiracy...but the fact of the matter was...it was a suicide...
"His life was just like a joke...entertaining for a while...then obnoxious...then passe..."I heard that one before...don't waste my time any longer..."
"For most of his life, he couldn't see the truth...he lived in some self-deluded image of himself...he was as much to blame for his demise as the world's reaction to him...it actually made me sad and I had not realized it...the "fixer" in me...made me wish I would have been there for him..."
I was telling him about that...and he listened intently...
"That is an interesting story," he broke in.
"Have you ever had a boss like that?" I asked.
"Yes, I have...in fact many!" he smiled...
"The only difference, with them, is that they never came to the realization of their own capability and demoted themselves..."
"...or saved the company the trouble of demotion by committing suicide!" He laughed!
"In a macabre way...that extreme should happen more often!"
"Maybe not suicide...but stepping down or aside...rather than struggling and fighting to keep position! Many people are hurt by the fact that people refuse to accept reality..."
"Leadership is an interesting concept..."
"I do not believe that it is a skill that should stand on its own merit!"
"It is a side benefit!"
"People have been lulled into believing that Leadership has value!"
"I am not claiming that it doesn't...it does!"
"But it is not valuable enough to be paid for alone!"
"Corporations do not see that...yet..."
"The day will come when they do!"
"AND that will definitely upset the corporate apple cart!"
"Let's chase this thought a bit deeper..."
"Leadership is like that commercial...PRICELESS!"
The world says..."You can't put a price on good leadership..."
"I wonder if they ever considered that one can't, because of its lack of measureable value?"
"I feel that "leadership" should be a prerequisite in every job...one of those HR imposed boiler-plate statements..."
"There should not be a leadership job!"
"Walk up to your leader and ask..."what do you do besides leading?"
"I bet he answers nothing...he'll answer that "leading is a full time job..."
"Then ask him "How much $ does that make for the company?"
"Really make? By something that he uniquely does for the company!"
"Yet...Organizations currently pay for leadership..."
"Organizations refuse to see the research that goes back to the 1940s and has been refined over the years that shows that BIG salaries do not motivate jobs that require creativity (a leader's claim to fame) to perform better...in fact it often detracts!"
"Don't get me wrong...Money is an incentive to menial tasks...people "making the same widgets," over and over, perform better in relation to their pay...to a maximum capacity...then incentives fail again!"
"Perhaps that is why organizations are hard pressed to change...the leaders are subtly lead to believe that their jobs are "widget making" rather than dynamic and creative!"
"It is so confusing..."
"At the lower levels they realize that every individual in an organization must contribute value equal to or exceeding their cost...to stay employed..."
"They have measureable standards...miss them and they are on probation...or worse...out the door!"
"I think that every leader should be held to that same standard!"
"They will claim that they do...things like growth...or contribution...or revenue...but those are not products..."
"I hold that EVERY leader needs to have a work product...that is the price of admission...for being a leader!"
"Every leader needs to contribute equal to or more than their cost...AND lead!"
"The standard to which the lower levels are held...(more or equal value) should also be the standard to which leadership is held...make it measureable and hold them to it!"
"Now let's take a side passage in this tunnel!"
"Leadership alone is of no value!"
"That is a scary statement! Many "so-called" leaders will take exception with that position."
"Leadership is a benefit...but think about the reality!"
"A "so-called" leader gives an assignment to a subordinate...(the theory of delegation)...the subordinate completes the task...and the value from the task is derived!"
"The leader gets credit...but take that leader out of the "delegation equaltion" and the value of the task is the same!"
"Delegation is a "widget" task!"
"You can automate "delegation!" A leader's assignment is inconsequential! NON-VALUE ADDED!"
"Look how much money that organizations could save by eliminating the "assignment givers-credit takers!"
"Organizations were on the right path when they began to "flatten" reporting structures. They rid themselves of many of those useless people! It scared many of the "useless/non-value added" positions! The fight was vicious! I loved watching that...and seeing how many "useless and downsized" top managers struggled to hold down a McDonalds job after being eliminated! Showed me their real value! That made me laugh in delight...I am a bit embarrassed by that response of mine...but I called it just reward!"
"I wish more of that would happen!"
"Profit margins will increase when organizations realize the TRUE value of leadership!"
"And use it (require it) in its proper context..."
"From an individual's prespective, leadership is an unalienable right..."
He stopped for a minute to revel in that statement!
"It is a given right to both, lead and be lead!"
"A good leader has a right to lead..."
"People deserve to be lead properly..."
"It is a definite benefit to any organization that has good leadership!"
"It should be required by anyone who claims a leadership title..."
"If that philosophy prevailed...we would have few organizational issues..."
"Leaders must earn the right to be recognized as leaders..."
"Leaders must continually pay for the right to lead..."
"Not through the "assignment giving/credti-taking" interpretation of their job..."
"...but by a contribution that pays for their right to be there and be a leader!"
"If a leader does nothing but "assignment-giving/credit-taking" they are a cost to that organization that SHOULD BE ELIMINATED!"
"No product of value...no pay!"
"They do it to clerks pulling minimum wages...why not do it to leaders that have 6 figure incomes?"
Today's Issues
"The problem with most of today's leadership...when I come to think of it...is the same problem that your childhood friend had...they can't be honest with themselves..."
"The hardest person to be honest with is yourself!"
"People refuse to see themselves as they really are!"
"Talk about a major denial issue!"
"They blow up their egos...why?"
"They can't be honest with themselves or the real contributions!"
"Because if they faced reality...they would realize that their contributions are of NO VALUE!"
"I worked for a CEO that was at the right place at the right time and grew a business from a small operations center...he believed that it was his doing...but in reality anyone could have done what he was doing!"
"It was sad...but he ruined many people's lives with his arrogance before he was seen for what he really was...and was fired! To this day...he still thinks he was a great leader...and not just lucky!"
"When a person is like that..."
"The question becomes...why lead or why live?"
"These people waste a lot of an organization's money...and cost the consumers a ton of money in return!"
"Their true incompetence steals money from organizations! These theives should be in prison...for theft and impersonating a leader!"
"I learned that long ago...during the war (WW-II)."
"The leaders that were worth anything...were those who carried a gun and used their share of ammunition...they lead their people into battle...not from the safety of behind...they were in front! They caught as many if not more bullets than the people they lead...why...because they were in front...working!"
"Over the course of time...our side was running out of good leaders...so they assigned leaders from supply corps...people who only knew guns by their "supply code!"
"Although I was not witness to it...more of those leaders were casualties of allied caliber bullets, than axis calibers! Fact of the matter was...they earned those bullets for their lack of contribution to the cause! War is a funny thing...it brings out the REAL reactive behaviors in people...the things they wished they could do...but couldn't...because of socially accepted rules..."
"The sad thing was that many of these leaders never realized that they had fooled themselves into believing they were worth something...and that deception carried to their familes who got post humonous medals...and believe that their loved ones died heros..."
"These people deserve to know the truth...that their "heros" died shouting orders from the safety of an umbrella...far from harm's way...and got shot there...by a subordinate who had had enough of their "gutless" ranting!"
"Most of these leaders...saw the shots coming...and had more than sufficient time to react...but they couldn't use their guns! They claimed to be soldiers...and were not...they hid in a uniform...but were fakes! They were impersonating officers...and were never officers...they were at best clerks...but when I think about it...couldn't even do a clerk's job..."
"Perhaps they got what they deserved..."
"It is a sad thing that war-time, natural selection does not exist in organizations..."
"We have many people in many places...impersonating officers...and they do not possess the talent or ability to be clerks! When they were clerks...they were failures...and they survived!"
"It saddened me then...and it does now!"
"What you described to me...your childhood acquaintence...is exactly the same condition that I saw during the war...and it lives in today's organizations..."
"You would think that we would learn...from our childhood experiences...or in times of crisis...or just from our own career experiences..but the "collective we" never learns!"
"Perhaps a REAL leader will stand up and say something that opens the eyes of organizations and they take a stand and rid themselves from that drain on money and resources..."
"It will kill our economy someday...it will kill many good organizations...many undeserving people will be hurt..."
Then he looked up and I saw tears...
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