A Birthday to Remember…

I had set my calendar to remind me that his birthday was coming up…

I wanted to get him something VERY special, as recognition for the role he had been playing in my life and my career…and because I thought that it would be the only present that he would be getting!

It wasn’t that he didn’t have a lot of people in his life…or that no one was appreciative for the great and wonderful things that he has done for them…in fact the exact opposite was true!

When you looked at him…it never crossed your mind that he had a birthday! Icons are like that!

They come into existence by some mystical means…and that is that!

Actually, he was not very open with the personal aspects of his life. He never said, “My birthday is coming up!”

It took me years to squeeze that tiny bit of information from him…

For years, the most I knew was his Chinese sign! That simply gave me the year of his birth! We were at a Chinese restaurant, celebrating the close of another project…toasting to the intelligence of the organization we served…he with his green tea and me with sake! As I set my cup down…I noticed the place mat had the Chinese astrological signs printed on it…I scanned across it and declared…”I am a monkey!”

He replied, “I could have told you that without looking at the placemat!”

I wondered if he was referring to the sign, but I wasn’t going to let on that he got a dig in!

I didn’t press him for his sign…but I did watch as his finger ran each of the columns and hesitated at one spot in particular!

Not to be overly apparent...I paralleled his motions with just my eyes…did some simple math…and AHA!

OK…I thought…I have the year…now all I need is the month and the day!

That would take the subversive work of a top CIA operative! He would not tell me!

I was finally able to coerece an individual in the Employee Relations department to look in his file and in almost a humorous way…played higher and lower…and 20 questions…until I hit on the exact day!

In truth, she never told me either…she just never told me I was wrong…when I hit it!

I remember when he first realized that I knew his birthday…

I never let on that something special was planned…he was in town…so I asked if he wanted to go to dinner!

It was a dive…but it had great food…we frequented it almost every time he was in town…I think he felt it was a safe and secluded place to eat…he would never be bothered there…

We met at the appointed time and were seated at our regular table…

The waiter asked if we wanted anything other than the regular…we both nodded…

I added…bring us a bottle of rum…some ice and two glasses…

He interrupted…”Bring me water” and he scowled at me…

I said…”Bring the rum…”

Little did he know that I had gotten a bottle of “his rum” and had pre-arranged for its presence at our table!

He was quiet! I had the feeling that he knew that something was brewing! I did my best not to smile (which is hard for me to do)!

The waiter soon returned…bottle, glasses and ice in hand…

My guest looked at the bottle and said…”I knew that this place was phenomenal…If I had only known that they served it…I would probably be an alcoholic! You can’t get that in the US!”

The waiter said…”We do not have this rum in stock…” and walked away!

He asked, ”You did…this didn’t you?”

Smiled and admitted to the dastardly crime…

“Why?” he prodded…

Because it is your birthday…I proudly announced!

I truly did not comprehend the phrase “Jekyll and Hyde” until that moment!

The relatively soft demeanor turned to a frenzied anger…that I hoped was staged!


How did you find out my birthday? All I have ever let you know was my birth year…Do you remember? At that Chinese restaurant? When I pointed to it on that placemat! I saw you look!

What else do you know about me?

I said, “Nothing!”

“Good answer” he smiled! “I would have to torture and kill you and I would enjoy that!”

It was funny…I halfway believed him!

I poured and we toasted to his health life…ate and closed that night with a few poorly sung renditions of his favorite songs…joined in of course by the staff and clientele of this lowly establishment!

What a birthday! I wish I could better that one…He laughed! He did not laugh enough from my perspective!

But you never have a second chance at a first impression…so the best that I can hope for is to add to it!

My thoughts were interrupted by my assistant, who was delivering the day’s mail!

Among the advertisements were a letter, that was totally unexpected…

I opened it and pulled out a small piece of paper…on it was scribbled…


Phil,
I know that you are struggling to find that perfect gift for me this year…
I know that you are busy…so I have taken the liberty to get it and send it to you…
You probably noticed that there are airline tickets in the envelope too! (I hadn’t)
Would you take a couple of days and celebrate with me at my home!
I have not done that in years…I need to do that
Besides…we need to catch up…

I looked into the envelope and just as he wrote...there were tickets!

I called my assistant back into my office and we rearranged my schedule to that I could travel!

The trip was horrendous! Three plane changes, two delays, and a suicidal cab driver in a car of unrecognizable heritage…

The driver triumphantly announced that we had arrived at my destination!

I thought under my breath that he had better appreciate what I just went through to get here!

We turned a corner and his home was just as I had pictured…a sprawling villa on the shores of the Mediterranean!

The driver jumped from the car and opened the gate…drove through…re-latched the gate…and proceeded to drive around the villa and up to a meager cottage that was planted between the villa and the ocean!

Before I could even open the door…it was opened for me!

“WELCOME to my home!” he proclaimed…

“Thank you! Happy Birthday!” I returned.

He also thanked the driver…paid him and sent him on his way…

We enter his home…

“Is this what you thought it would be like?” He questioned…

“Sort of” I responded, “I really hadn’t envisioned anything…”

“We’ll talk about that me later…go get cleaned-up...I want to hear all about you!”

I seriously expected a massive library, filled with all of the original copies of the classics, an elegant den…fountains…he deserved it…but I would never let on that I was disappointed…it would crush him! Especially after he told me that this place was in his family for generations!

I went to my small room and fell on the bed exhausted…and napped for hours…

I woke startled…at first not remembering where I was…then I realized that I had slept most of his birthday away!

I rushed and bathed…and walked into a small central room of this cottage…he sat in a comfy looking couch…classical music played in the background…he looked up from his reading…
I began to apologize…yet before I could, he said, “Did you nap well?”

“I bet you were beat! Those flights are terrible! It takes me days to recover!”

He rose and motioned me to follow him…we stepped around the corner into a small kitchen…a lady stood at the stove. We were introduced and he explained that she has been a loyal helper and has with the family for as long as he could remember. We then sat at a small table and she presented a multi-course meal, “fit for royalty!”

I complimented her by saying that this is a wonderful celebration meal! She looked at me quizzically and was dismissed…”That will be all you need to do today! We’ll clean up!” She left!

We then returned to the other room sat and talked for the last remaining hours of his special day!

Slightly before midnight, I asked if we could toast to his day…

He smiled and said…today is about you…we can save that for my birthday…tomorrow!

I looked at my calendar watch and also quickly scanned my memory for the position of the International Date Line…nothing made sense!

He smiled and explained, “I made a accidently declared my birthday a day early when I filled out my HR paperwork…so that I would know where the leak came from!”

Without missing a step he continued “It has been a long evening…let’s retire and rise early…I have so much to show you!”

And with that we went to our rooms…He snored throughout the night…and I laughed at how I had been part of a very subtle and humorous test!

“Everything you do should be done in such a way as that it is set up to provide information that gives to a better decision set to work with in the future”…he told me and now I knew what he meant…at least in part!

The next morning we rose and walked the beach!

The whole day was dedicated to his real birthday!

Most of the time we talked about what was next on his plate…and why he was doing it!

It was interesting…

…He never spent more than a minute or two on himself!

…Most of time he asked questions…today was different…almost everything was based in statements!

…I liked hearing about him…sometimes he even reflected and gave me brief glimpses into his past! It was amazing!

The next day I had to leave…before we did…he asked if I wanted to walk the grounds of the villa!

“Can we?” I asked…

“Sure” he replied…

And we did…

As we stood on a pillar surrounded, open-air patio…and listened to the sea…I asked, “Who owns this place?”

“I do!” he replied, “It’s where the staff lives!”

“It was the Mrs' idea...we traded places with them long ago…They deserve to live there!”