The Road Less Traveled...

The encounters between him and I were the most unpredictable part of my life…sometimes I didn’t see him for months…then there were other times that he was a shadow...one that followed me for days!

I would like to say that he was there for me in the bad times and stayed away so that I could revel in the good ones, without sharing…but the exact opposite was true!

“It was simply his busy schedule” I would conclude…

In somewhat a satirical way…I would always judge what my day was like by if he was around or not!

Out of the blue…my phone rang…and it was him!

"Ahhhh…It is going to be a good day," I literally thought! "Not because of him…but because he showed up!"

Just his "Hello!"…brought a smile to my face!

Before I could fill him in on the “goings on" in the area…he interrupted, “Phil…do you remember that saying about the road less traveled?”

I sure do I proudly responded! It comes from a poem by Robert Frost from his last collection.

It actually goes….

”… I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I -
I took the road less travelled by,
And that has made all the difference…”

“I am impressed!” he said, “is it on a poster on your wall?…or did you grab his anthology from your bookshelf?”

“NEITHER!!!! You know better me than that!” I responded, “What brings that up? Are you getting soft and reflective in your golden years?”

“NO!” he growled…with veiled snicker. He knew I could "jab back" at every one of his "digs." He used them to test the waters...most people thought he was just nasty!

“Just thinking…and thought I’d call you! What does it look like?” he asked…

“The road less traveled?” I checked…

By the silence I could see that...today was not a playful day for him and that he was getting frustrated…

He quoted Frost too…but not that one…

“…Education is the ability to listen to almost anything without losing your temper…”

I think that he chose that thought as a reminder, to himself, that the learning process can be VERY frustrating…especially for the teacher!

"Today..." he announced, "You are the teacher and I am the student!..."

This role reversal caught me totally off guard! But I relished the opportunity!

I stepped back in our conversation and and mentally assessed every minute detail!

"Let's walk down that road (that Frost describes), together, for a while!" I suggested

"I like that!" he replied, with a child-like enthusiasm!

The road leading to "the divergence" is quite hectic... in fact everyone is on that road...it leads everywhere and there is no place that one can't get there from any point on that road!

It is chaotic!...people bump into each other...some totally ignore the others present! There is yelling...and insults...come to think of it...it looks like that trading floor at the New York Stock Exchange!

So...we make our way down the road...and if we thought about it...we would be awed by the simple fact that we made headway!

Before you near "the divergence" it becomes a bit wooded...A bit darker, because of the trees...the road seems to narrow and because of this...it gets more crouded! If you look at the people around you...they have a look of confusion on their faces...as if they knew that they had a choice to make...they feel it...but it is simply a feeling...

At some point...much to our surprise...the road diverges! Most, if not all, of the travelers take the wide option, as if not thinking, or as if they didn't even see the other road...But we, being who we are, pause and look at that tiny and almost hidden path...

It is over-grown with plants...it is sandy...and there are few footprints marking the fact that others tried this route. That makes it a bit scary!

We talk and decide that this path is the one we must take...it will be a bit more treacherous...harder to traverse...but worth it...why?...that may be impossible to determine...it may be out of our nievity or out of curiosity or because of a true personal integrity! I guess that it doesn't really matter...the destination is the same!

So forward, trudge on...

"Hold on there teacher!!!" he interrupted, "You are walking too fast...Take a breather, so that I can catch up and ask some questions!"

I was embarrassed at his comment...I knew that pauses were critical in good teaching and mentoring! He taught me that long ago! In kind of a weird way...

My thoughts wandered...back to that slice of time!

Our meetings were getting to be almost obsessive! OK...they were! We were both like that! Obsessive, that is...I think we took "Carpe Diem" literally! We enjoyed each other's company...he was a lonely, since "the Mrs" left. I knew that if I wasn't with him...no one was...That bothered me...and...that also fed my side of the obsession!

In reality...I enjoyed listening and learning...the mental sparring and the growth! He was entertaining and challenging at the same time! I have had few people in my life like that...I was no willing to let go of that!

When we were together, he would do or say something and I would think, "I need to learn that!" I took as many notes about how he did things, as the notes I made about what he was doing!

From his perspective. he would say that he "finally" found someone that could understand and apply, what he hungered to share...and this will be what the next millennium will be in dire need of! So...before he joined the Mrs...(heaven forbid!)...he wanted to know that the legacy would carry forward...that the seeds were planted...that the fields was florishing and would be ready for harvest and distribution when then season was upon it!

I really think it was just that he found an audience for his ranting! AND I was happy to oblige!

For whatever reason...it was getting in the way of our other lives...work and personal! That is when he shared the lesson of pauses! I think that we actually realized that we were in a "bad place" at almost the same time!

I had mentally prepared to bring that up when we met for breakfast, the next morning...yet he beat me to it!

That morning we talked about value...and priorities...and commitments...and then made a plan that balanced all of them! He said that the only time that you really learn...is when you have time alone...the pause...even during a lecture...he would pause...so that his audience could learn! Some times his pauses were veiled in stories...or just plain rambling...most of the people missed what he was doing...but that was OK...it had the desired effects...he was often labeled as a kook! BUT...if they only knew!

At the end of our breakfast, which ran over, as had become the norm...something happened that never happened before in our relationship...and in fact, never happened after...he hugged me! That from a man who delved out handshakes as if they were on the endangered species list!

I never asked him why? Some things are best left unquestioned! But I noticed tears in his eyes...as if he was losing or lost something...or had hurt someone! It was confusing!

Then through the cool and soothing fog of my thoughts...I heard a voice calling me back into the present world...

"I think that we have not taken enough time at the fork! Let's go back and look at it a bit closer!" He interjected...

He caught me! I made a cardinal mistake in teaching! I took the student down a mental path that describe exactly what was intended...and not what it was, in reality! I wondered if he was testing me...or was he actually teaching me in a new, unique and VERY subtle way...or perhaps he really didn't know and wanted to learn! I didn't need the explanation...the destination was exactly the same...

"You're right!" I admitted, "Let's turn around and walk back!"

"Is that path at the same level as the other option? he inquired....

"I think at the beginning it is...but as soon as you round the first bend, it becomes an upward climb!" I answered...

"Good...I see the same thing!" he confirmed...

Something that he did so well, and I had learned later...was to stop in the middle of an important thought or concept and confirm that both were on the same page!

I continued, "Did you realize that that road will take your breath away?"

"Why?" he asked..."Because of the beauty?"

"Exactly the opposite!" I responded...(I could almost see his coy smile)..."It's an ugly route! It takes your breath away, because of the altitude and it's treacherous, there is no sure footing along its entire length!"

It is a lofty path...the air is thin...and every effort saps your energy...

...Many if not most people trip and fall, early...and roll down the incline, to the easier route

...Some lose their footing when it gets really tough and AGAIN, roll down to the other road...they stand up, dust off the dirt and continue on that crouded path!

...Others get scared when it gets it darkest and runback to what they know and is comfortable...

...Others hate traveling alone and turn around simply because they have no one around them!

I could give you as many reasons for not using this road as there are grains of sand on it...but let's go on!

"Did I mention that this route is often the longer route?"

"AND...Guess what the name of this road is?"

"What?" he asked that child came out again!

"The HIGH ROAD!" I revealed!

"I love it!" he said, "This is exactly what I was looking for!"

"But I think that this path is worth it though! Let's look at it a different way." I continued...

Reach into your pocket and take out the map...I will do the same! You'll see there are lots of bends...many dead ends... There are also many rest stops...and picnic areas! There are scenic overviews...and landslides!

Wait! The maps changed before our very eyes! Wait! Your map is different from mine! This is confusing! It is if the map was made for each of us alone! Your road is your road and yours alone...as is mine!

"I am loving this!" he exclaimed! "This mental image is a thing of beauty!"

"A thing of beauty"...That was his greatest compliment, although he constantly complimented everyone...there was a hierarchy in the phrases that he used...this one he doled infrequent enough to say that he never used it!

"I guess when you put it this way...It is always the HIGH ROAD, my friend, that we should be taking!" he concluded.

I was not finished, but I could tell that he was.

I replied, "I think that is what Frost wanted us to learn, that is if he wanted us to learn something!"

OK! Enough! I knew that, he, either, had learned enough, confirmed what he needed to know, or I had, in a very subtle and reverse way, learned what he needed to teach me!

"Hey!" he interjected, "I am going to be in town for the next couple of weeks…can you carve out some time?"

"I have a bottle of my rum and we can share it…if you want…"

"It is going to be a good couple of weeks!" I thought, "It has to be...he is in town!"

"Oh Yeah...there is something else I wanted to mention and have you think about, before I get there..."